Today, I think I've reached that point in my marriage where sex is reserved for Valentine's Day, my birthday (maybe), and our anniversary. Which is fine, I expected it to come at some point, just not when I was in my 30s. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband and I have such busy careers, we have to schedule sex for when we’re both at home and hopefully not too tired, otherwise we’d never have sex at all. The last time we had sex was on my birthday, in April, and our next appointment is mid September. I really miss sex. FML
Today, I realized my marriage makes me feel like I'm just passing time until death. FML
Today, it's was my birthday. My wife did not get me anything or do anything for me. Instead, she said, "I'll knock an extra day off your sex ban." Sadly, this is probably the nicest thing she's done for my birthday in several years. FML
Today, it's our third anniversary. After a candlelit dinner and a midnight boat ride, my wife turned down sex, because "it's too cliché." FML
Today, and every day for the past five months since I got married, whenever my husband and I try to have sex, I think of it as "wifely duties" and it turns me off so much. I can't stop, and we haven't had sex once. My husband is frustrated and angry, and keeps commenting that he should have known this would happen. FML
Today, my husband asked if we could have more sex, because we spend every day together, but if he wanted celibacy, he’d have stayed single and spent time with his friends. He then pulled out a diary proving we’ve only had sex twice this year. I was completely unaware it was so infrequent. Whoops. FML
Today, my husband complained about my lack of sex drive. Gee, I wonder why, Mr. "Always comes first by humping for a whopping 30 seconds." FML
Today, I just had surgery and my wife finally wants to have sex. Not that there haven't been enough other days in the previous years of marriage… FML
Today, my wife asked me what I wanted for my birthday, and I said sex. She told me to grow up and ask for something more realistic. FML
Today, it's my 2-year wedding anniversary. It also marks 2 years since my wife told me, "We're married now we don't need to have sex anymore." FML
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Top comments
ntoll1 15
I feel your pain. It's been 7 years since my wife wanted sex.
angus 17
At least you’ll be getting lucky in a day or two
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Comments (2)
ntoll1 15
I feel your pain. It's been 7 years since my wife wanted sex.
angus 17
At least you’ll be getting lucky in a day or two