Today, it's was my birthday. My wife did not get me anything or do anything for me. Instead, she said, "I'll knock an extra day off your sex ban." Sadly, this is probably the nicest thing she's done for my birthday in several years. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it's my birthday. My wife took me to my favorite restaurant for dinner. She made me pay for my birthday dinner, along with hers. She also got me a gift card to HER favorite store. FML
Today, for the third day in a row, my wife is bitching about her terrible birthday. She had messages wishing her a happy birthday from her friends instead of actual calls. Also, she knew that my pay comes in the day after, and she agreed to go shopping with me, as opposed to a present on the day. She is 54, going on 7. FML
Today, it's my birthday and it would be a great day if me and my wife weren’t literally too poor to celebrate it. To make it even better, she won’t have birthday sex with me, because we live with her mom and she’s afraid of her hearing us. FML
Today, my wife asked me what I wanted for my birthday, and I said sex. She told me to grow up and ask for something more realistic. FML
Today, it was my birthday, and my wife gave me a sex toy for self-masturbation. She even showed me how to properly use it so I can masturbate myself. FML
Today, I found a receipt from a lingerie store for some nice garments. When I asked my wife about it, she stammered and said it was a birthday surprise, then got mad at me for ruining it. My birthday isn't for almost ten months and she hasn't been sexual with me for years, much less spontaneous. Nice try. FML
Today, it's my 35th birthday. My wife greeted me naked, and with an itemized list of what's off limits. A list of what was on the menu would've been much shorter and might have had better spelling. FML
Today, it's the day after my birthday. My boyfriend got me nothing. Nor did he do anything for me for Valentine's Day. Whereas I got him an $85 game for his birthday, planned a surprise visit to his family so he could see them and his pets, and spent all day Valentine's Day making the house spotless, as well as cakes. FML
Today, my wife asked me what I wanted for my upcoming birthday. Mindful of our budget, I said I just wanted to relax at home all day and then get a nice dinner with her. She blew up and yelled that I'm "using my birthday to be a lazy slug." FML
Today, for my birthday, my wife gave me a "day to myself", except less than 20 minutes after I woke up it was, "could I quickly drive her to an appointment?", and "can we do a quick grocery shop?", and, "the kids need this and that." At bedtime, she asked me how I’d enjoyed my day to myself, seriously. FML
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Top comments
Chazzster 32
That sounds terrible - Not the birthday, but what it implies about the relationship. … I suspect that professional intervention is required - Either a counselor or a lawyer.
stickyface 17
WTAF is with all of these weaponized marital sex posts lately? Is it really that common or is it the algorithm serving up similar content?
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Comments (4)
stickyface 17
WTAF is with all of these weaponized marital sex posts lately? Is it really that common or is it the algorithm serving up similar content?
Chazzster 32
That sounds terrible - Not the birthday, but what it implies about the relationship. … I suspect that professional intervention is required - Either a counselor or a lawyer.
SAgirl 23
Why the heck do you have a sex ban?
FluffythePink 23
If my partner even attempted to treat me like that, I'd be packed and gone so fast there'd be a sonic boom behind me...