Today, the woman that I left my wife for told me she just wanted me for sex and not a long-term relationship. I pleaded on my knees to my wife to take me back and rekindle our marriage and even suggested counseling. I even brought her roses. She slapped me with the roses and slammed the door in my face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the woman I left my wife for says she doesn’t wanna date me because she "sees me as a best friend” and “You just got divorced, it’s kinda awkward.” I caught feelings for this woman, tried to fight it for months and finally caved in, only to be told she sees me as a platonic friend. My wife won’t take me back. FML
Today, I asked my wife for a kiss. She snarled, "I'm your WIFE, just fucking kiss me! You don't have to ask!" Later, I went in for a kiss and she slapped me, then yelled that it was my fault for "getting in her face." FML
Today, I had sex with my wife, only to be told that the sex was horrible, and to be given divorce papers. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She slapped me in the face, stormed out and won't answer my calls. What the hell? FML
Today, my current wife left me for my ex-wife. FML
Today, my wife asked me to come talk to her in the bedroom. Thinking she wanted to have a quickie while her sister was spending time with our son, I rushed into the room. She didn't want a quickie, she wanted a divorce. FML
Today, on the advice of several friends, I tried to de-escalate a stupid argument with my fiancée by kissing her. She slapped me senseless and whooped my ass up and down the house until I escaped to the car. FML
Today, my wife and I were having amazing make up sex after several months of painful separation. Halfway through, she screamed for me to stop, climbed off the bed, and ran into the bathroom. She spent an hour screaming and crying, then came out and emotionlessly told me to leave. FML
Today, my wife and I got into an argument. She ran out, yelling. Later, at work, I felt guilty, so I picked up some flowers and a card. When I presented them to her, she looked puzzled. I made the mistake of reminding her about our argument. She is now mad at me, again. FML
Today, my wife, who I thought was my soulmate, admitted that she only went out on our first date because she'd lost a bet, and she'd thought I was a loser. Even though she kept saying that she really did fall in love with me, I left. My heart is just shattered. I'm not going back. FML
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Top comments
Alan883 11
so you cheated on your wife, left her when you thought you had an actual replacement for her and when that fell flat you "even bought her flowers" and she still wouldn't take you back ? yea, you are a total victim here, pity you
MidnaLink 35
And you thought you'd get sympathy? Geez, I hope she slammed the door ON your face.
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Comments (14)
Alan883 11
so you cheated on your wife, left her when you thought you had an actual replacement for her and when that fell flat you "even bought her flowers" and she still wouldn't take you back ? yea, you are a total victim here, pity you
RichardPencil 32
You ought to hold "rallies" where you rant over how unfairly you've been treated and how your dalliance was "a perfect affair." You'll develop a cult following that may help gaslight your wife into taking you back. In any case, you'll sell a lot of merch!
Hangryko 32
"[He'd] have more fun as a follower, but [he'd] make more money as a leader." 😂
lexxiasaurus 31
I love your asshole sarcasm on these kind of posts 🤣🤣🤣 gives me hope for the future
MidnaLink 35
And you thought you'd get sympathy? Geez, I hope she slammed the door ON your face.
RichardPencil 32
I'm curious. Did the other woman ever tell you she wants you all to herself? Sometimes people like having something on the side without it becoming the be-all and end-all.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Go try that with the woman you left your wife for. It won't work but clearly you haven't been humiliated enough for any self-reflection to kick in.
slhiggx 17
“I even brought her roses.”
cyndaquilmf 10
As she should
lexxiasaurus 31
if you have a ring camera do you mind sharing the footage? I want to see the smile on her face and the tears rolling down yours after realizing how pathetic you are for chasing pussy like a boy, when you had a family who love you. I hope the next girl uses you for sex as well, and you can't get it up for once, because all you can finally think about is your wife. I pray she takes you for all your worldly riches and then some.
Hangryko 32
Idiot.
Crowned Sataness 12
ydi a thousand times. you cheated on a woman who loved you and played yourself. you should have been bringing her roses when you were still with her and been a husband then