"smonds13"
Doggone It
Today, my 3-year-old pooped on the floor and blamed it on the dog. How do I know? We don't have a dog. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
matchristityler
United States
Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML
jbhadafuckedupday
Pride and joy
Today, my 3-year-old came to me very excited because he had gone to the bathroom by himself for the first time. What he did not tell me was that he had shit on the floor, and when I went into the bathroom to check, I slipped on a turd and knocked myself out on the sink. FML
Anonymous
Splat!
Today, I have a case of diarrhea. How did I find out? I got startled by my dog jumping up to greet me, and I shat all over the kitchen floor. FML
katie hj
My babies would never do that!
Today, I was screamed at by my stepmom for “taking a shit on the carpet.” We have not one but two dogs who are losing their bowel control, and I'm 24 years-old and have never taken a shit anywhere other than the toilet, so I have no idea why she’s blaming me. FML
anonymous
Good boy
Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal. My son had pooped in the schoolyard, then gave the teacher a Ziploc bag, and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML
Anonymous
Moonee Ponds, Australia
Today, my 3-year-old missed the toilet. In the time it took me to get paper towel to clean it up, my one-year-old decided it was the perfect puddle to play in. FML
whatisthisshit
Hellooooo, Social Services?
Today, I spent two hours convincing my 3-year-old son that he can't poop on his 4-month-old brother out of retaliation for the baby pooping on him. He did it anyway. FML
mom
Spring, United States
Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML
Anonymous
Traralgon, Australia
Best gift ever
Today, my toddler handed me a present and told me to keep it forever. It was a piece of dog poo. FML
Anonymous
Today, I was cleaning the litter box and found a large clump. I later found my 3-year-old peeing there instead of in the toilet. FML
Top comments
Blizz18 14
This child is either a genius or an idiot. Will need further observation.
Privilige 8
maybe u have one,u just cannot see it?
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Comments (16)
piinksock 17
They say lying early in childhood (though not to be encouraged) is a sign of intelligence. In this case I'm not so sure.
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Break the child of this before becomes a habit.
nicholcm 5
At least you wont have to worry about saving for a college fund