Today, my husband and I had some bath time to ourselves. After having sex, he decided to put bath salts in my vagina to spice things up for the next round. It's been twenty minutes out of the bath and it still feels like there are pop rocks in my vagina. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, when I woke up, I got into the bath that my boyfriend had prepared for me. I particularly appreciated its smell, so I asked him what he'd used. "I couldn't find the usual bath salts you use, so I just used what I could." It's official, I've taken a Alka-Seltzer flavored bath. FML
Today, in the attempt to have a relaxing self-care evening, I ran a bath, threw in some bath salts then put a face mask on and hopped on in. After about 7 minutes of relaxing, my back started burning, so I got out only to discover the bath salts have given me a rash. FML
Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML
Today, I tried to relieve my back pain by lounging in a jacuzzi at my mother's house. All was going well until I accidentally knocked an opened container of bath salts into the tub, which got sucked into the jet system, shooting tiny, sharp, barely dissolved pieces of salt into my back. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML
Today, my husband wanted me to "spice up" our sex life. I guess he didn't count on me vomiting when he came in my mouth. We won't be getting intimate again for a long, long time now. FML
Today, I get the feeling my wife is mad at me. I have no evidence to support this, except she ran me a bath with a bath bomb and a shit load of chilli powder, so like I say, no hard evidence except the excruciating burning in my asshole, peehole, ballsack, nostril and eyes. FML
Today, as I was about to have sex with my husband, I said I wanted to "spice things up." Apparently, our ideas weren't the same. He yanked my nipples as hard as he could and said, "Yeah, you like that?" FML
Today, my husband decided to put different condiments on my body to make our sex better. I was thinking whipped cream; he was feeling ketchup. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
bethrh 49
There must have been a lot of chemistry.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Salt. in your... ******...? Is this a common thing or is it just you, because all I can imagine it feeling like is having sand stuck in there. *vaginal cringe*
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (235)
norisorroz 28
I would never EVER do that to my Va-jay-jay.
pandalover69 26
That makes absolutely no sense. Why would you let anyone put rocks in your ******??? That's just stupid, YDI.
kwintalamillah 6
My god, isn't that going to give you a hell of an infection
vegas518 7
Why would you knowingly let your hubby do this? For that reason alone, YDI.
worldclassrager 41
Well now you know not to do that in the future...have fun with that one
alex_gen 39
Masochist?
Mauskau 36
If you won't put it in your mouth, don't put it down there.
ScarletNoise 3
Did it feel good? You know...for science.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Yes it is. Anyone who says otherwise can go to...*whispers* heck.
awestruck1213 6
Why did you let him do that? Id say you are the bigger moron here.