Today, my girlfriend asked me to lick her ass. I obliged, only for her to rip a rancid fart directly on my tongue. Its been two hours and I'm still nauseous. Apparently, this was revenge for my "badgering her" for anal sex. I'd mentioned that butt play is one of my kinks, and dropped it when she wasn't interested. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted to try anal, praise the lord hallelujah. As we were getting into position, she let out a rancid fart she'd been saving for my face. Apparently it was revenge for me seeing Mamma Mia 2 without her while she was at work yesterday. FML
Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend wants to lick my butthole. How do I respond to that? I am genuinely confused and disgusted. FML
Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML
Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML
Today, my girlfriend let out a vile fart in an Uber. It stank so bad, the driver threatened to kick us out. She blamed it on me and called me a pig. Then, she ripped another one, and he actually did kick us out. She had the nerve to act hurt when I called a second Uber only for myself. FML
Today, my girlfriend refuses to follow her doctor-mandated diet, which results in, among other things, utterly rancid gas. It's so foul that I've taken to sleeping on the couch, and I'm seriously considering hiring a prostitute so I can have sex without gagging on the stench. FML
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Top comments
core01 30
knowing how much the men I've dated have badgered me for anal, even after I explicitly stated i wasn't into it, I'm doubting your "i dropped it" statement. But, if you really did only ask once and then let it go, FYL.
juuuliaaa_fml 28
That's just wrong
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Comments (3)
juuuliaaa_fml 28
That's just wrong
core01 30
knowing how much the men I've dated have badgered me for anal, even after I explicitly stated i wasn't into it, I'm doubting your "i dropped it" statement. But, if you really did only ask once and then let it go, FYL.
RichardPencil 32
I guess the idea of anal sex left a bad taste in her mouth. Misery loves company.
kittycatkelss 29
I always enjoy your comments, but this was a really solid one. 10/10!