Today, I was supposed to go to Disneyland with my family, but I woke up with explosive diarrhea. So while they are at the happiest place on Earth, I'm stuck on this toilet left to imagine that the splash from my crap is a splash from Splash Mountain. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at the water park in Disney World when I felt something run down my leg. I thought that I just hadn't dried off all the way, but when I looked down, there was diarrhea running out of my shorts. FML
Today, I got diarrhea while on a trip with my daughters. At our third stop, I had to sit in the stall listening to my 5 year-old informing everyone who came in that "mommy is stopping at EVERY bathroom to poop." FML
Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML
Today, is the day I graduate. Today is the day I have explosive diarrhea and I haven't moved far from the toilet since I woke up this morning. FML
Today, I fulfilled my lifelong dream of going on a family trip to Disneyland. Less than two hours in the park, my kids have been scared shitless by every single character, they don’t want to ride any rides, my husband is drunk, and the mouse ears headband gave me a vomit-inducing migraine. FML
Today, I had explosive diarrhea. I got off the toilet to change my 3 year-old's poopy diaper. He was being stubborn, so I was going to go back to the toilet, which is when he laid down. I thought I could do it. I couldn't. He ran around diaperless as I ran back to the toilet with liquid shit running down my leg. FML
Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML
Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML
Today, I was suffering from food poisoning and had constant diarrhea, along with feeling nauseous. I couldn't hold my vomit in and rushed to the toilet, but due to the pressure, I pooped while still in pajamas. FML
Today, while my roommate was taking a bath, I became horribly sick out of nowhere. Since the bathroom was occupied, I ended up having explosive diarrhea in an Amazon box in my bedroom, which I immediately ran out to the dumpster. FML
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Top comments
shelboo_fml 0
What a wonderful thing to imagine. PEPTO BISMOL
ebbomega 0
Sucks, but tbh I think Disneyland is a bit overrated. Splash Mountain is a 1-hour wait for a 5 minute ride. Not worth it, IMO.
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Comments (106)
shelboo_fml 0
What a wonderful thing to imagine. PEPTO BISMOL
randomdude1234 0
Meh. A simple anti-diarrheal like imodium would work fine. YDI for not using drugs. Also I think you mean Euro Disney. Because Disneyland is in California and it says you are from France.
xxreikoxx 31
Has it ever occurred to you that the OP's family might have taken a plane or three to GET to America? Not that it makes any sense...I call bull on it.
yottskry 0
Well done... apart from it's called "Disneyland Paris", as shown at www.disneylandparis.com
lightuup 0
no, go to disney world!!!!
Moooooo_fml 0
lol pwned :D
ShMoReS_cOnTeSt 0
Hhh
ebbomega 0
Sucks, but tbh I think Disneyland is a bit overrated. Splash Mountain is a 1-hour wait for a 5 minute ride. Not worth it, IMO.
OPISDUMB 0
Exactly. Disneyland is gay, get over it.
B4SK3TB4IL 0
sure is
SarcasticUnicorn 9
But splash mountain IS worth it. I love that ride.
Freeze_fml 17
Disneyland is about as exciting as that dump you're trying to take.
him51772 0
I dont thnk hes trying, pretty they dont got much choice xD
metsrule64 0
hahahahahaha
pinktiger 0
TOILETS ARE FUn
lizzilla8297 2
YDI for thinking DisneyLand is the best place ever.
magentaballoon15 8
No, he said "the happiest place on earth" and I'm pretty sure that's actually what they advertise themselves as.
hoebiscuit 0
hahahahahaha. sucks for your ass!
lightburns 10
I have IBS or something, I dunno. But all I can say to you is: Immodium. FYL though ):
Bertha5 0
they left u sad? saadd.
padlarf 14
You'd sit around to hear him have his diarrhea?
devendra_fml 0
the way this is phrased makes it sound like you're writing this from your toilet. which, um, not sure how i feel about that.
AboveTheRest 6
so what? you can't just sit there all day on the toilet doing nothing.
soozjw 2
That really sucks, but this really made me laugh. Hope you feel better soon.
Wii624 5
Awww :( I feel so bad for you! Splash mountain is the best!