Today, I was supposed to go to Disneyland with my family, but I woke up with explosive diarrhea. So while they are at the happiest place on Earth, I'm stuck on this toilet left to imagine that the splash from my crap is a splash from Splash Mountain. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at the water park in Disney World when I felt something run down my leg. I thought that I just hadn't dried off all the way, but when I looked down, there was diarrhea running out of my shorts. FML
Today, I got diarrhea while on a trip with my daughters. At our third stop, I had to sit in the stall listening to my 5 year-old informing everyone who came in that "mommy is stopping at EVERY bathroom to poop." FML
Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML
Today, is the day I graduate. Today is the day I have explosive diarrhea and I haven't moved far from the toilet since I woke up this morning. FML
Today, I fulfilled my lifelong dream of going on a family trip to Disneyland. Less than two hours in the park, my kids have been scared shitless by every single character, they don’t want to ride any rides, my husband is drunk, and the mouse ears headband gave me a vomit-inducing migraine. FML
Today, I had explosive diarrhea. I got off the toilet to change my 3 year-old's poopy diaper. He was being stubborn, so I was going to go back to the toilet, which is when he laid down. I thought I could do it. I couldn't. He ran around diaperless as I ran back to the toilet with liquid shit running down my leg. FML
Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML
Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML
Today, I was suffering from food poisoning and had constant diarrhea, along with feeling nauseous. I couldn't hold my vomit in and rushed to the toilet, but due to the pressure, I pooped while still in pajamas. FML
Today, while my roommate was taking a bath, I became horribly sick out of nowhere. Since the bathroom was occupied, I ended up having explosive diarrhea in an Amazon box in my bedroom, which I immediately ran out to the dumpster. FML
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Top comments
shelboo_fml 0
What a wonderful thing to imagine. PEPTO BISMOL
ebbomega 0
Sucks, but tbh I think Disneyland is a bit overrated. Splash Mountain is a 1-hour wait for a 5 minute ride. Not worth it, IMO.
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Comments (106)
lucifer69_fml 0
hahahaha 'explosive' diorrhea! gives a great mental picture
crampy 0
dude, just take some medicine and go have fun!
elisabethecstasy 0
I live in Orlando and trust me Disney is not that great...anymore :P Unless you like being scammed listening to like 300 kids screaming and waiting like an hour for rides.
kaleid0scopeEyes 0
I live in Orlando too and I could care less about Disney, but my mom loves it so that's where we go when she comes down to visit. She even has a group of fanny pack wearing Disney loving internet friends that plan trips every year. The kind that think its a crime to live in Orlando and not go to Disney.
elisabethecstasy 0
Haha aww that is actually kinda cute (: but I think it funny that we end up looking like tourists too with those cheesy hats and water bottles I probably know you haha
dangletsbang21 0
I live in Orlando and I absolutley love Disney, it never gets old to me :)
YDIall2suck 0
YDI for what you ate.
I_am_stupid_also 6
When you feel like its the good part, put your hands in the air and scream.
purebliss7 6
now thats just wrong...lmfao
virusin 0
cinnaluna 0
Haha, I'm gonna take a wild guess and say that anyone hating on Disneyland right now, hasn't been there. I mean yeah, the foods over priced, and yeah it can get really crowded, but if you go on an off day, say a Wednesday in the middle of school season, then it's pretty great. So there.
GruntOfAction 0
Disney Land Sucks. Went there and didn't have any fun. Went to Universal Studios and almost died from Heart Palpitations from all the fun. Disneyland is for the younger kids, Universal is for everyone else.
ratub12 0
what about knotts? those rides kicks universal studios ohlalalas
delgado07 0
baby jesus