Today, I was supposed to go to Disneyland with my family, but I woke up with explosive diarrhea. So while they are at the happiest place on Earth, I'm stuck on this toilet left to imagine that the splash from my crap is a splash from Splash Mountain. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at the water park in Disney World when I felt something run down my leg. I thought that I just hadn't dried off all the way, but when I looked down, there was diarrhea running out of my shorts. FML
Today, I got diarrhea while on a trip with my daughters. At our third stop, I had to sit in the stall listening to my 5 year-old informing everyone who came in that "mommy is stopping at EVERY bathroom to poop." FML
Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML
Today, is the day I graduate. Today is the day I have explosive diarrhea and I haven't moved far from the toilet since I woke up this morning. FML
Today, I fulfilled my lifelong dream of going on a family trip to Disneyland. Less than two hours in the park, my kids have been scared shitless by every single character, they don’t want to ride any rides, my husband is drunk, and the mouse ears headband gave me a vomit-inducing migraine. FML
Today, I had explosive diarrhea. I got off the toilet to change my 3 year-old's poopy diaper. He was being stubborn, so I was going to go back to the toilet, which is when he laid down. I thought I could do it. I couldn't. He ran around diaperless as I ran back to the toilet with liquid shit running down my leg. FML
Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML
Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML
Today, I was suffering from food poisoning and had constant diarrhea, along with feeling nauseous. I couldn't hold my vomit in and rushed to the toilet, but due to the pressure, I pooped while still in pajamas. FML
Today, while my roommate was taking a bath, I became horribly sick out of nowhere. Since the bathroom was occupied, I ended up having explosive diarrhea in an Amazon box in my bedroom, which I immediately ran out to the dumpster. FML
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Top comments
shelboo_fml 0
What a wonderful thing to imagine. PEPTO BISMOL
ebbomega 0
Sucks, but tbh I think Disneyland is a bit overrated. Splash Mountain is a 1-hour wait for a 5 minute ride. Not worth it, IMO.
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Comments (106)
YeahFMLxX 0
At least you dint have I stand in line for three hours listening to it's a small world.
itouchguy360 3
I think epcot has the best rides. I went to Disneyland when I was 10, only to find out I was to old for it.
madasahatter 0
Beautifully worded.
ScaryyMary 14
Just make sure to wear one of those little plastic ponchos with a hood so you don't get splashed. Because REALLY, who goes on a water ride to stay dry? (Especially in hot, sunny, California where you dry off in ten minutes.)
padlarf 14
Since the OP is French, he would probably go to Disneyland Paris :)
_sourpatchkid 0
I don't think they're actually in France. There's no splash mountain in Disneyland Paris and no one goes there anyway. i think it just says france when they can't decipher the location, since that's where the site is based. That's why so many posts come from Nord Pas de Calais and all of them are written in perfect English.
cottonshwabs 0
this is probably the most DISGUSTING thing i have heard in a while..
cottonshwabs 0
also..i live in california and it isn't hot right now.
alex_vik 1
Little kids running around screaming, rides which last 1/12th of the time waited in line, and overly expensive food and drinks? Happiest place in the world my ass.
MermaidSongXOXO 6
Most of Disneyland's rides are crap anyway............. No, I've never been there and I wish I could :P
chris_42 11
If you were constipated then it would be fitting to say you were riding logs down splash mountain. (Splash mountain is a log flume, right?)
leadrunner751 3
r u really that young?