Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. Ten minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's ass crack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I caught myself yelling at the girl in the porn I was watching for looking at the camera every other second. FML
Today, I realized I have been single for far too long when I was turning off porno after porno because I couldn't stand the horrible acting. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML
Today, I was taking advantage of an empty house to try and re-spark my sex drive. Despite my best efforts, I got bored and started watching something else, but when my housemate returned suddenly, I panicked - gave a guilty shout and fumbled my dick away as I changed the monitor over - back to porn. FML
Today, I got home after a long day and decided to unwind a bit. I put some porn on the TV but promptly fell asleep. I woke up three hours later to the same video playing, but realized a had left my blinds open. I broadcasted three hours of Athena Faris having sex to my whole street. FML
Today, I was watching porn, and ended up bawling because the girl in the video looked like my ex. FML
Today, a blowjob from my fiancée turned into exchanged oral, which turned into mutual masturbation while watching porn, which then turned into me being kicked out of the room because it was "weird" with me watching. FML
Today, I thought it would be really hot to watch porn while my girlfriend and I were having sex. I got so hot and aroused that I came before the previews even ended. That was less than one minute. FML
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Top comments
ChaCerCam 14
If you were that angry over a guys ass crack, just watch lesbian ****?
xxbvbsusanxx 21
I'm sorry OP, maybe you should just take a nap?
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Comments (105)
magikarpsmurfs 19
It's a pretty rare thing when **** doesn't do the "job". Perhaps next time watch something new, finish your "business". Then take a nice nap next buddy. Hope you feel better op.
miyaviichan 27
Yeah I hate those awkward, sweaty guy taint close ups. Why do directors think I want a hi-def view of some guy's nuts slapping around?
kingdomgirl94 29
Generally speaking heterosexual **** has the potential to cater to people who like men as well as people who like women. I can vouch that as a straight woman, ******* bouncing around doesn't really do it for me, but then again, I'm not the target market for that.
elcee1987 18
I'm a straight woman but balls and cracks don't turn me on either...
Godsofdracos 15
I'm a straight guy and I love watching balls bounce around! Oh wait we're not talking about sports are we...
brand125 17
I love how straight guys assume they are the only ones watching it. (like the girls said up above)
kaytasha 18
Hahaahhaaha
miyaviichan 27
Hey, I'm the original commenter... I didn't state my sex. I'm a girl. Guy taint still don't do it for me...
Corvo_Attano_4 12
You should take a nap or watch tv instead. Those things are a lot more calming.
vikky538 29
yah **** also creates some frustation...i woild say go for a massage..with or with out happy ending..
worldclassrager 41
Try a comedy...that's probably the best idea...or do something different all together
skittycat213 19
I agree. Personally, when I want to de-stress I watch stand up comedy
R3DH3RO 7
Mabey try going to a local Spa or you could try to go to your local mall and getting a message or cook your favorite food watch a good movie or take a nap?
Marie54321 19
Try going to the gym after work, it'll relive your stress and help you get a good nights sleep. Just an idea OP :)
summer135790 15
That sucks, sorry op /:
Rawrshi 25
I know the feeling! **** has to be balanced - not too much moaning or talking; not too little. Try amateur ****, OP! It's a little harder to find specific things but there's a lot less faking and exaggeration or terrible plot lines to skip over. (:
ZorroRooster 19
Amateur **** can be great, or it can be infinitely worse. at least professional stuff has some production value. And it depends on the actors involved. Some chicks (and dudes for that matter) are just REALLY annoying and boring to listen to/watch. Gotta find a fav (some faves) and stick to them.
silverstream20 20
Sometimes the really lame storylines are more entertaining then the **** itself.
Powerage66 16
Yea, you need to watch lesbian ****.