Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend is on the pill, and even though my girlfriend took emergency contraception, she became pregnant days after the first time we had sex without a condom. FML
Today, I found out the hard way that my girlfriend lied about being on the pill four months ago. FML
Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me, panicking. Apparently he had a headache, but wasn't concentrating on what tablets he grabbed, and accidentally took tablets for "relief of period pain". He was convinced he was going to grow ovaries overnight. FML
Today, my girlfriend's best friend told me she was in hospital after having made a suicide attempt. In shock, I had a panic attack and ended up in the hospital myself. Turns out it was all a lie to see whether or not I was committed to the relationship. FML
Today, my housemate picked me up from the psychiatric ward, after I'd spent ten days there with a major depressive episode. She said that she thought it rather odd that I'd gotten so bad, since she'd replaced my antidepressants with homeopathic pills. FML
Today, I finally got to come home after hours spent in a locked down ER after a car accident. My injuries were non life-threatening, but pretty damn painful. I asked my sister to pick up my pain meds from the pharmacy for me. She got drunk and "lost them", AKA gave them to her dirtbag boyfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend texted me to pick her up some medicine because she’s "all plugged up." When I arrived with laxatives, she yelled at me. She meant her sinuses. FML
Today, I went back home after seeing the doctor, I told my boyfriend my new medicine might cause some mood swings. He immediately grabbed his phone and pretended to take a call, then rushed out. FML
Today, my mother took a bunch of sleeping pills, then went driving. I followed her and dialed 911. Now she thinks that I was "trying to get her arrested," and she refuses to talk to me ever again. FML
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Top comments
satanic_fml 13
Death is the new birth control
desoto96 9
I think that's why she took the birth control in the first place. So no.
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Comments (62)
Carmstro 13
49 I guess it depends on the type. If I miss a day, I have to take 2 ten hours apart from each other. And that wouldn't be possible With a whole weeks worth. O_O
poccocurantes 7
This is the same girl who shows up late for parties and says "I got a lot of catching up to do." and proceeds to drink her way to oblivion. Yes I have had to be the one holding her hair before. Your turn OP.
TheyCallMeDamien 18
smdh
DizzyWrong 2
Its best if she continued taking birth control. She doesn't need to be in the gene pool.
DanielleinDC 34
It's even better if she gets sterilized so she doesn't have a boneheaded moment of taking all her pills at once. As for her other scripts, well, she's beyond hope.
Mf2307 15
damn that is alot of pills to take all at one time
Xotoolyxo 16
You are a good boyfriend
Sfaizi24 17
atleast you have the best username ever
vbmg152 19
Beauty fades, dumb is forever!
sesor 7
Lmao. All you do is continue where you left off with the pill and use condoms for a couple of weeks. Surely when you get let's robed the pill they'd have told her that....
Reaper1984 13
heres your sign...