Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend is on the pill, and even though my girlfriend took emergency contraception, she became pregnant days after the first time we had sex without a condom. FML
Today, I found out the hard way that my girlfriend lied about being on the pill four months ago. FML
Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me, panicking. Apparently he had a headache, but wasn't concentrating on what tablets he grabbed, and accidentally took tablets for "relief of period pain". He was convinced he was going to grow ovaries overnight. FML
Today, my girlfriend's best friend told me she was in hospital after having made a suicide attempt. In shock, I had a panic attack and ended up in the hospital myself. Turns out it was all a lie to see whether or not I was committed to the relationship. FML
Today, my housemate picked me up from the psychiatric ward, after I'd spent ten days there with a major depressive episode. She said that she thought it rather odd that I'd gotten so bad, since she'd replaced my antidepressants with homeopathic pills. FML
Today, I finally got to come home after hours spent in a locked down ER after a car accident. My injuries were non life-threatening, but pretty damn painful. I asked my sister to pick up my pain meds from the pharmacy for me. She got drunk and "lost them", AKA gave them to her dirtbag boyfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend texted me to pick her up some medicine because she’s "all plugged up." When I arrived with laxatives, she yelled at me. She meant her sinuses. FML
Today, I went back home after seeing the doctor, I told my boyfriend my new medicine might cause some mood swings. He immediately grabbed his phone and pretended to take a call, then rushed out. FML
Today, my mother took a bunch of sleeping pills, then went driving. I followed her and dialed 911. Now she thinks that I was "trying to get her arrested," and she refuses to talk to me ever again. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
satanic_fml 13
Death is the new birth control
desoto96 9
I think that's why she took the birth control in the first place. So no.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (62)
GRgoldfish 19
its not the birth control that almost killed her you ding dong! it says that she overdosed on her other meds to catch up.
koranne1 4
Dear men, where on Earth do you find these women? Yours isn't the worst one here btw. Gosh.
cash_raj 5
you know we should probably pool some money and AWARD such people!
luluslife 2
OMG she's one dumb bitch, I hope she's doing fine though. You should teach her that her body doesn't work like that! and she can't "catch up" next time
SammiixSue 13
I'm in disbelief that someone is that dumb.
MikeFoxtrot01594 11
Did anyone else think Darwin Awards.
TheMystery13 13
With that kind of thinking, I don't know if she needs more pills or less.
bOOmBoTz401 6
stupid is as stupid does
XxFallenGodxX 1
she's blonde I'm guessing
LoveNnyl 23
I wouldn't want her carrying anyone's child.