Sex and Intimacy: Desperate

Desperate

By yourmainman - 28/01/2013 05:03 - Canada

Today, after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship, my girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body with whipped cream. Except, we didn't have any in the fridge, so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of her while fighting the urge to vomit. FML

agreeclassic 55 971

vote type 1 15 983

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Today, my fiancé and I decided to engage in some erotic food play. She covered every region of my body, including my genitals, with strawberry sauce. Today also happens to be the day that I found out I'm allergic to strawberries. FML

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By bad in the sack - 05/07/2014 04:26 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She was on top, and then stopped, got off, and said, "Let's go get ice cream." I think this was her way of telling me I suck at sex. FML

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superpoptart 24

Monday 28 January 2013 12:04

You sound like a caring boyfriend... But seriously you could've asked to shower together? Your girlfriend is definitely dumb though. Good luck.

K92 13

Monday 28 January 2013 12:04

Omg op that's disgusting! You guys didn't have any chocolate?

Comments

NakedColors 5

Monday 4 February 2013 22:06

Dear god

Pyroantics2388 3

Tuesday 19 February 2013 16:01

Thats why you always have whipped cream stocked. "be prepared"

fulgura 10

Wednesday 27 February 2013 17:16

You should probably stop keeping shaving cream in the fridge. ;)

lili98_fml 3

Saturday 9 March 2013 11:59

That's just straight up nasty. I wouldn't do that even if I was getting paied.

JuliaLV22 3

Friday 24 May 2013 2:52

Well at least your committed

EffyFails 18

Friday 4 October 2013 1:03

Wow dude, it smells rank, you must have some big balls, FYL. but either way she must be kinda stupid because that can't be good for you and I'd never expect anyone other than Bear Grylls himself to eat such things