Today, I grabbed the nearest plastic bag in my bedroom when my boyfriend and I left for Walmart so I could return a pair of shorts. When the cashier dumped the contents of the bag onto the counter at customer service, my shorts and a used condom fell out. It was the longest return of my life. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in the 'intimacy' section of Walmart. After grabbing 2 boxes of condoms and a vibrating ring I turn around to see my ex boyfriend's mom. I smile awkwardly and put my head down as I walk away, causing me to colide with his dad and send my 'goodies' all over the floor. FML
Today, I went to the dry-cleaner's and went to get my bag of laundry from my trunk, but I ended up dropping the bag. My dirty underwear blew around the parking lot. I had to chase it all down as a bunch of people looked on. FML
Today, I went to a fast food restaurant. The guy behind me was a pretty hot latin guy. When I went to pay, my purse fell off the counter. My birth control pills, a condom, 3 super plus tampons and an extra pair of underwear I keep in there for emergencies fell out at his feet. FML
Today, I had to return a shirt to Target. My mom offered to do it for me on her way to work, so I gave her the shirt and receipt. Later, I remembered that on the same receipt I had purchased condoms, lube, and whipped cream. FML
Today, I grabbed a pair of pants from the dryer in a hurry, trying to make it to the bank. When I rushed in, I felt something fall down my leg. It was a pair of my mom's granny panties that had been stuck inside my jeans. I kicked them aside, hoping no one would notice. They did. FML
Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML
Today, while doing self-checkout at Walmart, the cap of my laundry detergent came off as I scanned it and dumped all over me. FML
Today, I was buying condoms but was a little embarrassed so I went to the self-check. I scanned the condoms, then a magazine and tried to put the condoms under the magazines to hide them. The store guy saw me, thought I was shoplifting and I was kicked out of the store. FML
Today, a customer came to make a return - a bag full of clothes without tags that weren’t from our store. I kindly told her she couldn’t return them. She had a full blown meltdown, pulled down her pants, urinated and defecated on the ground. Security escorted her out. My coworker and I had to clean it up. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store. I bent to get some dog food off the bottom shelf and felt my pants tear. My jeans split right across the back seam, showing everyone I was wearing a pink thong under them. I had to ditch my cart and leave as I had no way to cover myself. FML
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Top comments
silly248 0
wow, look at the bag, ydi
MelanieBerrigan 0
hahahahah thats hilarious and okay who checks an empty bag? a used condom has like no weight, she probably thought it was empty, wow you guys are dumb. fyl but its really funny
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Comments (97)
Meemer147 0
Hey FMLers, wanna find another site equally as funny as this one? Check out Mylifeisaverage.com, not as gushy as MLIG or GMH. its also not as depressing as FML. find your happy medium at Mylifeisaverage.com
ottospielen 0
Why did you have to put your shorts in a bag to bring them to Wal-Mart? Seems like it would be faster, easier, and less bulky to carry the shorts than the bag of shorts...
mymouse 0
In my town the stores want you to bring returns in a bag. They won't take an item back otherwise.
mastory96 0
did the cashier get a boner? maybe he thought you were giving a hint... :)
Ozmat 0
Hehe
lrb081 0
YDI. My question is why you needed a bag for one pair of shorts. I assume you have hands to be able to "grab" the bag, so why didn't you just "grab" the shorts and leave it at that?
jet_fml 0
Why was there a used condom in the plastic bag? o_o
kid_pistol 7
The condom was the plastic bag
flyboy57 0
YDI for shopping at Walmart.
Illumi113 0
YDI for leaving a used condom in the bag with the shorts. I imagine the semen stains made the return much more difficult.
bobby222 0
YDI for being a ****.
BunniiPop1 0
#22 how is she a ****?? she did it with her boyfriend that she must like a lot if they are living together yuh idiot
were_giraffe 2
because good girls don't save the condoms in shopping bags. they throw them out in the trash.
Moemoemoe_fml 0
Some people use loose plastic bags AS trash disposal things for small trash in a bedroom and all, which sounds like it was what happened to her, smartass.
person1000003 0
YDI for sure
steffibug 0
YDI for being so disguisting in your disposal of used condoms...