Today, I was talking with my wife of five years, and I gave her a few hints about wanting kids. After our talk, she looked at me completely serious and said, "Yeah yeah, kids are great and all, but can't we just get you a dog?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, things were going great with my girlfriend of six months. She knew I had kids and it seemed to be getting serious, so I decided to introduce her to them. After dinner, I walked her to her car and she said, "That’s real nice but what are you going to do with them once you and I have kids?" FML
Today, after careful consideration, I told my wife I really want to have kids. She laughed, until she finally realized I was serious, at which point she flicked me in the balls and said, "Problem solved." FML
Today, I asked my wife who she would choose, me or the dog. She chose the dog. No hesitation. FML
Today, my husband and I found out that our dog was pregnant. He now refuses to have kids with me for at least two years, because he wants to raise the puppies without any "distractions". FML
Today, my girlfriend was making lunch and asked me to pass her the peanut butter. I'll never know why, but as I handed it to her I said the first thing that came to mind, "I really want a dog." She looked at me in horror, then told me to get out of her house. FML
Today, I asked my husband if we could start talking about kids. He said sure, so we talked about kids. Then I asked if we could maybe start trying to have kids, and he said, “Absolutely fucking not, are you mad? What’s wrong with you?” FML
Today, my wife isn't speaking to me and is considering separation because I got rid of the puppy she surprised me with for my birthday. She knows I hate dogs and I'm severely allergic to them, but thought it would be a happy case of "Dad later falls in love." FML
Today, my fiancé decided he wants a baby only because our dog is good, quiet, and falls asleep as soon as he starts to cradle her. He thinks a baby will be just like that. FML
Today, my wife and I have been in the same massive argument for two weeks. We agreed when we were dating that we couldn’t think of anything worse than having kids, we married on the basis we would never want kids. Now, a year later, she wants a baby. FML
Today, my girlfriend of three days asked if we could start naming our future children. FML
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Top comments
supimnyancat 9
Didn't you talk to her about that matter before you married her?
Ajwc101 24
Maybe adopt? She may just not want go thru labour.
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Comments (84)
Bebbo_fml 21
Quite frankly this could be a marriage breaker. OP you shouldn't try to force your wife or pressure her to have a child. If she doesn't want one and you do, either end the relationship or accept her wishes and find an alternative to care for your new found paternal instincts
theidude 0
I wanna marry your wife!! Just For Your Information: to have kid is not an obligation and to have kids is one of the worst thing everyone can do to our planet. Just adopt or yes: have a great dog or two!
5t3ff1k4h 45
**** you. If I decide to have a biological kid, that's none of your concern. If I decide to have 17, that's another story.
Isa_fml 20
Why on earth don't people discuss this BEFORE committing to marriage?
MaryPoppins88 14
I've seen a bunch of these on here and your an idiot for not discussing kids before getting married
bbiscool2 12
Just get her pregnant....
Meg_0301 4
Isn't it usually the men that don't want kids? Seems that you would be a great papa. :)
kyrisonfusion 22
So that's a no to the dog is suppose?
squishycat 6
I'd rather have pets than kids any day! It's all fine and dandy for you to want kids, but what about her? she'd the one who has to go through all the pain and ******* misery of carrying the rugrat, not to mention the pain of actual birth and the wreckage it makes of her body, plus the the fact that you'll be all proud pappa, yet she's the one who gets to look after the thing for 99% of the time. Don't be such a selfish dick!
lola2309 3
This is exactly why I do not want kids. Go figure, my husband wants them.
elizacandle 29
this is something you sort out BEFORE marriage.
annoyedchild 17
Make the condom accidentally break