Today, I was talking with my wife of five years, and I gave her a few hints about wanting kids. After our talk, she looked at me completely serious and said, "Yeah yeah, kids are great and all, but can't we just get you a dog?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, things were going great with my girlfriend of six months. She knew I had kids and it seemed to be getting serious, so I decided to introduce her to them. After dinner, I walked her to her car and she said, "That’s real nice but what are you going to do with them once you and I have kids?" FML
Today, after careful consideration, I told my wife I really want to have kids. She laughed, until she finally realized I was serious, at which point she flicked me in the balls and said, "Problem solved." FML
Today, I asked my wife who she would choose, me or the dog. She chose the dog. No hesitation. FML
Today, my husband and I found out that our dog was pregnant. He now refuses to have kids with me for at least two years, because he wants to raise the puppies without any "distractions". FML
Today, my girlfriend was making lunch and asked me to pass her the peanut butter. I'll never know why, but as I handed it to her I said the first thing that came to mind, "I really want a dog." She looked at me in horror, then told me to get out of her house. FML
Today, I asked my husband if we could start talking about kids. He said sure, so we talked about kids. Then I asked if we could maybe start trying to have kids, and he said, “Absolutely fucking not, are you mad? What’s wrong with you?” FML
Today, my wife isn't speaking to me and is considering separation because I got rid of the puppy she surprised me with for my birthday. She knows I hate dogs and I'm severely allergic to them, but thought it would be a happy case of "Dad later falls in love." FML
Today, my fiancé decided he wants a baby only because our dog is good, quiet, and falls asleep as soon as he starts to cradle her. He thinks a baby will be just like that. FML
Today, my wife and I have been in the same massive argument for two weeks. We agreed when we were dating that we couldn’t think of anything worse than having kids, we married on the basis we would never want kids. Now, a year later, she wants a baby. FML
Today, my girlfriend of three days asked if we could start naming our future children. FML
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Top comments
supimnyancat 9
Didn't you talk to her about that matter before you married her?
Ajwc101 24
Maybe adopt? She may just not want go thru labour.
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Comments (84)
brevolorio 5
Now tell her can we get divorce instead
PaigeRawr 0
Maybe she's not able to have babies, and she's afraid you'll resent her for it. Either way, her wishes should be respected to. Though, FYL for not having something you'd really like, like children :(
raraisbang 12
If she couldn't have kids she might should've mentioned that before they were married.
cbchuckbass 5
Divorce ! And find a better wife
mattorama 15
"A few hints?" She probably just doesn't want to have kids with such a wuss. If you want kids, FREAKING TELL HER you want kids! Though a better time for that conversation would have been, ohhh.... how about five years ago, before you got married?
songofthedead 20
I have to side with the wife on this. If she doesn't want kids, she doesn't want kids. Don't force the issue. True, you should have talked about this before the both of you married. But if you try to force what you want, if you "opps" her, it'll end up in an unhappy marriage. She'll blame you and will most likely end up in divorce, leaving you with the kid. Some women don't want kids and some do. Some just prefer to have animals then kids.
SoultheWolf 19
What is wrong with you commenters? Marriage is an EQUAL relationship. Just because he's a man doens't mean he gets to decided everything in the relationship. Maybe she isn't ready for kids yet? Just because they are married for five years doesn't mean they have to have kids imediately, some people like to wait. Or maybe she's in a part of her life where she feels it would be too hard to go through a pregnancy and birth. Men aren't the ones who have to spend nine months feeling bloated and sick the entire time. Nor are they the ones that have to have sleepless nights 24/7 as they are taking care of a newborn. Grow up guys, just because she doesn't want kids it's no reason for them to divorce.
anedderm 4
Actually it's a pretty common reason for divorce, and yes while it is her body and I understand not wanting kids I also understand how hard it is to stay with somebody when you want kids and they dont
yaniggamatt 3
they're quiet at night (unless someone breaks in), they dont ask for money, they dont ask to go hang out with their friends, they dont need a car at 16, they'll give their life for you, theyre easy to feed and take care of, they dont need diapers changed, they dont need insurance, and they dont lie or cheat. why WOULDNT you want a dog????????
asktherunes 4
You should not marry someone without discussing a big issue like kids. Can't just expect someone to want the same things you do. Your lucky cause as a male you can have kids at any age
hewro_failure 11
I like her thought process better ... Dogs are awesome kids not so much cause you waste so much money on kids and dogs are less annoying and more loving
Turtle_Man 21
I like the way she thinks :P