Today, I was talking with my wife of five years, and I gave her a few hints about wanting kids. After our talk, she looked at me completely serious and said, "Yeah yeah, kids are great and all, but can't we just get you a dog?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, things were going great with my girlfriend of six months. She knew I had kids and it seemed to be getting serious, so I decided to introduce her to them. After dinner, I walked her to her car and she said, "That’s real nice but what are you going to do with them once you and I have kids?" FML
Today, after careful consideration, I told my wife I really want to have kids. She laughed, until she finally realized I was serious, at which point she flicked me in the balls and said, "Problem solved." FML
Today, I asked my wife who she would choose, me or the dog. She chose the dog. No hesitation. FML
Today, my husband and I found out that our dog was pregnant. He now refuses to have kids with me for at least two years, because he wants to raise the puppies without any "distractions". FML
Today, my girlfriend was making lunch and asked me to pass her the peanut butter. I'll never know why, but as I handed it to her I said the first thing that came to mind, "I really want a dog." She looked at me in horror, then told me to get out of her house. FML
Today, I asked my husband if we could start talking about kids. He said sure, so we talked about kids. Then I asked if we could maybe start trying to have kids, and he said, “Absolutely fucking not, are you mad? What’s wrong with you?” FML
Today, my wife isn't speaking to me and is considering separation because I got rid of the puppy she surprised me with for my birthday. She knows I hate dogs and I'm severely allergic to them, but thought it would be a happy case of "Dad later falls in love." FML
Today, my fiancé decided he wants a baby only because our dog is good, quiet, and falls asleep as soon as he starts to cradle her. He thinks a baby will be just like that. FML
Today, my wife and I have been in the same massive argument for two weeks. We agreed when we were dating that we couldn’t think of anything worse than having kids, we married on the basis we would never want kids. Now, a year later, she wants a baby. FML
Today, my girlfriend of three days asked if we could start naming our future children. FML
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Top comments
supimnyancat 9
Didn't you talk to her about that matter before you married her?
Ajwc101 24
Maybe adopt? She may just not want go thru labour.
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Comments (84)
jnick020804 2
Name it marly FTW
thedimedrl 0
say yes to the dog. It's a test. If the dog reaches one year old, you've proved you can keep something not you alive.
ChubbyNicki 6
Let's think about the one who would go through those 9 months of pregnancy and then 10 hours of her ****** being ripped apart and sown back together here...
diaspora_fml 26
If you are so pathetic that you have to give "hints" about wanting children to someone you're actually married to, it's unlikely you have the balls to actually produce any.
donut_gurl 8
people really need to discuss the idea of children BEFORE getting married!
tsatrape 0
I think that you guys should talk it out a little more and maybe she will understand a little better (:
devrock 2
A conversation you should have had before, so I have no sympathy for you. Get a divorce now.
lastrael 3
1. You really should have talked about this before you got married. 2. Look up childbirth. The baby is like a little vampire & it ******* hurts to be delivered.
wilddun 1
Get a divorce or a vasectomy, don't try to rape her and force her to get pregnant, she'll just abort without telling you. Sorry dude you really should've talked about this before getting married. This solution has no compromise.
StrawberryFlesh 1
Trying to pressure someone who doesn't want kids into having them is just as shameful as pressuring someone who wants kids into having an abortion.