Today, I was talking with my wife of five years, and I gave her a few hints about wanting kids. After our talk, she looked at me completely serious and said, "Yeah yeah, kids are great and all, but can't we just get you a dog?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, things were going great with my girlfriend of six months. She knew I had kids and it seemed to be getting serious, so I decided to introduce her to them. After dinner, I walked her to her car and she said, "That’s real nice but what are you going to do with them once you and I have kids?" FML
Today, after careful consideration, I told my wife I really want to have kids. She laughed, until she finally realized I was serious, at which point she flicked me in the balls and said, "Problem solved." FML
Today, I asked my wife who she would choose, me or the dog. She chose the dog. No hesitation. FML
Today, my husband and I found out that our dog was pregnant. He now refuses to have kids with me for at least two years, because he wants to raise the puppies without any "distractions". FML
Today, my girlfriend was making lunch and asked me to pass her the peanut butter. I'll never know why, but as I handed it to her I said the first thing that came to mind, "I really want a dog." She looked at me in horror, then told me to get out of her house. FML
Today, I asked my husband if we could start talking about kids. He said sure, so we talked about kids. Then I asked if we could maybe start trying to have kids, and he said, “Absolutely fucking not, are you mad? What’s wrong with you?” FML
Today, my wife isn't speaking to me and is considering separation because I got rid of the puppy she surprised me with for my birthday. She knows I hate dogs and I'm severely allergic to them, but thought it would be a happy case of "Dad later falls in love." FML
Today, my fiancé decided he wants a baby only because our dog is good, quiet, and falls asleep as soon as he starts to cradle her. He thinks a baby will be just like that. FML
Today, my wife and I have been in the same massive argument for two weeks. We agreed when we were dating that we couldn’t think of anything worse than having kids, we married on the basis we would never want kids. Now, a year later, she wants a baby. FML
Today, my girlfriend of three days asked if we could start naming our future children. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
supimnyancat 9
Didn't you talk to her about that matter before you married her?
Ajwc101 24
Maybe adopt? She may just not want go thru labour.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (84)
kaymi 17
At least she gave you the option of getting a dog instead of hitting you in the balls.
The_F3rris 11
In this economy (and massive overpopulation) it is unresponsible to have kids. I take your wifes side
noisebox 1
Not mention the super sick world of today, why would want to subject them to that?
noisebox 1
Sounds like doggy-style psychology...
TrippingOnAcid 29
Can't you just respect that she doesn't want kids?
vhivfe 3
I would have said the same thing as your wife Having kids is harder than it looks
CarouselHeart 11
I don't blame her. Kids are gross. I'd much rather have a cat. (Or dog)
francescar11 3
Well she's the one whose gonna have the baby
onesickpickle 4
Maybe she just doesn't want to get fat for almost a whole year and then have to push the lil sweet heart out....talk I her about maybe taking in foster kids or adopting...or just settle for a dog. kids are gross anyway lol
J_Shorty_17 6
Wasn't there an FML almost identical to this last week o.O... That aside, some women don't want kids for many reasons. Have a chat with her to find out, but will agree with #1. Nothing wrong with dogs though ._.
xmaximusx 12
If u really want kids and she dont find another woman because if u try and force her or guilt her into it, the force wouldn't even help u outa that hell
xmaximusx 12
divorce and alimony and visitations and child support payment lol