Today, I was talking with my wife of five years, and I gave her a few hints about wanting kids. After our talk, she looked at me completely serious and said, "Yeah yeah, kids are great and all, but can't we just get you a dog?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, things were going great with my girlfriend of six months. She knew I had kids and it seemed to be getting serious, so I decided to introduce her to them. After dinner, I walked her to her car and she said, "That’s real nice but what are you going to do with them once you and I have kids?" FML
Today, after careful consideration, I told my wife I really want to have kids. She laughed, until she finally realized I was serious, at which point she flicked me in the balls and said, "Problem solved." FML
Today, I asked my wife who she would choose, me or the dog. She chose the dog. No hesitation. FML
Today, my husband and I found out that our dog was pregnant. He now refuses to have kids with me for at least two years, because he wants to raise the puppies without any "distractions". FML
Today, my girlfriend was making lunch and asked me to pass her the peanut butter. I'll never know why, but as I handed it to her I said the first thing that came to mind, "I really want a dog." She looked at me in horror, then told me to get out of her house. FML
Today, I asked my husband if we could start talking about kids. He said sure, so we talked about kids. Then I asked if we could maybe start trying to have kids, and he said, “Absolutely fucking not, are you mad? What’s wrong with you?” FML
Today, my wife isn't speaking to me and is considering separation because I got rid of the puppy she surprised me with for my birthday. She knows I hate dogs and I'm severely allergic to them, but thought it would be a happy case of "Dad later falls in love." FML
Today, my fiancé decided he wants a baby only because our dog is good, quiet, and falls asleep as soon as he starts to cradle her. He thinks a baby will be just like that. FML
Today, my wife and I have been in the same massive argument for two weeks. We agreed when we were dating that we couldn’t think of anything worse than having kids, we married on the basis we would never want kids. Now, a year later, she wants a baby. FML
Today, my girlfriend of three days asked if we could start naming our future children. FML
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Top comments
supimnyancat 9
Didn't you talk to her about that matter before you married her?
Ajwc101 24
Maybe adopt? She may just not want go thru labour.
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Comments (84)
whY402Jay 12
She might change her mind once her friends start popping em out. It'll be unintentional peer pressure.
hardehar 9
She might.....but she probably won't. If she's anything like me, it'll make her less likely to change her mind
OverBlossomed 22
Having babies because of peer pressure is a TERRIBLE reason to have them!
cicpjaky 6
Tell her about the benefit of kids!! 1. They mow the grass for you 2. Do dishes and laundry 3. get you simple things like the tv remote across the room 4. last but not least drive you home when you're drunk :)
citymayer 7
I always drive my mom home when she's drunk! She praises me for being "the good one."
Stupend0us 7
1. A Jose can mow your lawn for a lot cheaper than it would cost to raise a child. 2. That's what the wife is for. 3. That's what the wife is for. 4. A cab is cheaper than the cost of raising a child. Plus you have to wait 16 years or at least until they can reach the pedals.
SystemofaBlink41 27
18- so there's like a "uses for kids" manual out now?
noisebox 1
And cause you to go insane, or go from insane to sane.....
OttersIsAwesome 8
If you can't get human babies, accept her offer and become an animal breeder . Technically, you still get kids, and a lot of them.
ihaveFMLfeverr 5
Awe sorry, you just gotta show her how much you want them :)
sleepy_jaz 15
If she doesn't want kids, then she doesn't want them. Maybe she'll change her mind later on, but you shouldn't push her unnecessarily since she's the one who has to carry them for nine months and go through labor
MrsPegg 45
I logged onto the full site in attempt to fix this (I'm on the app). I was responding to a comment that got moderated. Somehow this ended up here. Sorry
charliewetsidege 2
get me a glass of water, cause im dying of FIRST! I know im not first but i really want to do that.
littlemsweirdo 12
This takes stupidity to a whole new level.
MrsPegg 45
I'm thumbed you up just because I was taken aback by your totally random comment. Your randomness intrigues me
unknown_user5566 27
30- How was that comment random?
Coffeebang 17
Aw give her some time she might change her mind :)
jojimugo 20
After five years? I doubt it.
SystemofaBlink41 27
38- you never know if she--- yeah....she won't...
ElmoSaysSquishy 28
38 they could have married young and the wife may only be in her early twenties. She could still change her mind.
unknown_user5566 27
As others have mentioned, one would hope that a discussion about kids would've happened prior to getting married. For many people a difference of opinion on that subject is a total deal-breaker. If she doesn't change her mind, and you continue to want kids, you have a tough decision ahead of you: leave your wife to try and start a new relationship with someone who wants kids, or stay with her and let your desire be unfulfilled. FYL and best of luck, OP. I don't envy your situation.
Wolfhaley 2
Dogs are awesome.
XxQueenofPuppets 10
Get a cat.. Easier to potty train, four times as cute, and no college tuition =]
zachherbert 10
I would like for you to know, MY cat went to Harvard.
ambamm135 7
And your dogs? Still fighting crime? ;)
inarsla 8
see: Zoe D Katze phd
Trisha_aus 15
40- is your cat Professor Meowington?