Today, I was at a barbeque with my family, my boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly called my boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replied, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was playing Charades with my boyfriend's family. When it was his turn, he pointed at me. His mother said "Bitch?" The answer was "relationship". FML
Today, while having dinner, my boyfriend decided to tell everyone about our sex life. It wouldn't have been too bad except my father was sitting right next to me. My boyfriend's excuse was that he wanted to make my dad laugh. He didn't laugh. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. I've been a vegetarian for 4 years, and his mother made lasagna with meat in it. After telling her I don't eat meat, my boyfriend's father says, "We know whose meat she does eat." My boyfriend, his mother, and I were standing right there. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were play-fighting. I managed to pin him down and win. He saw my grin, snorted, and bitterly said I'd only won because, "let's face it, you're a bit of a porker, eh babe?" FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend and his friends talking in the next room. I smiled when my boyfriend called me beautiful, only to hear his friend laugh and say, "C'mon, dude. She has fat ankles and smells like deli meat." FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to dinner to meet my parents. He agreed to be on his best behavior, but when my mom told us about some shady stuff going on at her job, he replied that it sounded "fishier than Justin Bieber's cunt." We were quickly kicked out. FML
Today, my boyfriend called my mother stupid and angrily argued with her at a family dinner. Why? We have a long-running family joke that "Vegan food doesn't contain calories," and my boyfriend thought my mum said it seriously, and was therefore a moron. FML
Today, while having dinner with my boyfriend's family, his mom told me that it looks like I've gained quite some weight. When my boyfriend told her that this was a rude thing to say, she said it wasn't rude, just the truth. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's grandmother's house meeting her for the first time. I excused myself to the restroom and as I walked out of the room I heard her say, "You could do a lot better. She's fat." Then I heard my boyfriend reply, "I know." FML
Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Dimence 9
Your boyfriend is simply awesome.
iOceanus 18
Mommy's baby is not so innocent anymore.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (109)
ilovesarcasm 18
...and to think, he almost had you at hello, OP, now you have a story for your children.
Kallian_fml 21
Why would a story involving mum, dad and eating pussy be something any child wants to hear about?
ilovesarcasm 18
I guess you didn't see or understand my username. I cannot help you.
Cainicide 5
-cough- Can I toss your ... I mean PASS the salad!
the_true_batman 10
Maybe he eats other girl's *******. Not sure if that makes it better.
aussieaccents 7
He's a keeper (:
matt98_fml 13
I wonder how awkward the conversation was afterwords.
perdix 31
I'll bet that made Dad squirm. He hasn't taken a trip south since courting days.
Sai_Run614 7
Hopefully your mom isnt like the mom from.wedding crashers. Kitty cat may want the bf to be hungry.
aly01234567 5
That just made my day xD haha
soad2014 7
Call him a dick next time
beebeeL 1
lmfao! if ur mother is there why would someone call him that in the 1st place >.>