Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while having dinner, my boyfriend decided to tell everyone about our sex life. It wouldn't have been too bad except my father was sitting right next to me. My boyfriend's excuse was that he wanted to make my dad laugh. He didn't laugh. FML
Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML
Today, I brought my boyfriend home, and I introduced him to my parents. Afterwards, I took him to my room so we could have some "bonding" time. Right as things got pretty intense, I heard my dad yell, "Stop faking, honey." FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend of two weeks to my parents. My dad asked me to leave the room so they could have some "guy talk". I eavesdropped, only to hear the words "sex-crazed fuck" and a threat to stick bamboo shoots under my boyfriend's fingernails if he ever hurt me. FML
Today, I admitted to my mother that I've had sex with my boyfriend. She seemed to handle it well, but when my boyfriend came over, she condemned him to hell in between asking him what he would like to have for dinner. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML
Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML
Today, after a long time convincing my parents that my boyfriend is really a good guy, not only did he decide to come by the house completely drunk, but he also ended up trying to kiss my mom, thinking it was me. FML
Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML
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Top comments
coolkid_matt 11
hahaha :D awkward
Badtz_maru_fml 0
-Insert awkward silence-
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Comments (193)
ambowew 7
Are you sure your father isn't Josef Fritzl?
Blueglasscup 18
:( I don't understand your picture. I suck.
brutalrhino 4
How do you not understand 14's picture? I found it pretty funny, hard to believe I never realized that before.
Blueglasscup 18
She changed it and now I look like an idiot. it was this cartoon with this monkey and a cheese holding up a sign saying "there's nothing funny about us!"
iUnethical 2
lolololol zD
CateXOX 0
Ah come on, it was funny even though it was also very awkward.
CompettiveCheer 0
I agree.
harviss12 8
lol inbread
Iskaria 0
inbred* and no.
kingtz 6
18, how'd you know they had bread for dinner?
melons 44
Mmmmmmm, lol sandwich.
Rdozer 0
I believe 18 was merely stating that the dinner bread had LOL's in it!
deekiin 0
epic winning
DeadxManxWalking 27
has the drunk bastard done so?
flighted 1
Umm.....awkward.
HeavyMetalViking 0
What I want to know is whether OP's father continued to elaborate on all the positions in detail. Homeschool Sex Ed for the win!
ILoveEggnog 7
Haha, I was home-schooled and I told my friends that all my sex Ed was "hands-on learning."
becky_becks 0
wtf?!?!
tnlander 20
incest is best when your kids are undressed.
suchaprettygirl 4
win! : D
you_freak 7
Incest - A game the whole family can play
everyonelovesme 12
lol nice one!!!
icyfire617 10
I think it was funny...
ryrywakaka 0
is ok my dad told my mom me and my brother was having sex because we were late for dinner when i was young
iLazy 0
Right that kind of incest is not wrong in any way at all....
chammi 0
that is NOT okay.
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
It sounds more like it was something said rather than done...also, two brothers screwing? That's new.
ryrywakaka 0
obviously my dad was being a fuxking ard and was bullshiting but it was quite awkward