Today, I saw a squirrel beside a tree. Thinking it was cute, I stepped closer, picked up a pine cone and tried to lure it to come closer. After about two minutes of silently squatting on someone's lawn holding a pine cone, I realized the squirrel was dead. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found my cat downstairs with a squirrel dangling from his mouth. When I saw this, I yelled at my cat to put it down. He did. Turns out the squirrel was still alive and run. I had to spend the next three hours chasing it out of my house. FML
Today, I was having a conversation with a friend at the park when my dog ran up to me with something in his mouth. I thought it was a stick. I bent down to take it, only to realize it was a dead squirrel. My dog just stared at me, tongue lolling, like, “It’s a stick, throw it.” FML
Today, I spent hours making an elaborate bird feeder for my backyard. It was finally ready, and I proudly hung it up, imagining the birds chirping happily. Instead, a squirrel discovered it within minutes, devoured all the birdseed, and then gave me a smug look before knocking the feeder to the ground. FML
Today, I was trying to scare a squirrel away from my bird feeder. It was on my privacy fence, so I picked up a rock just to throw at the fence to startle it. I hit the squirrel in the head and he fell off on the other side. I don't know if he's okay or not. FML
Today, I tried to take a selfie with a squirrel and it bit me. FML
Today, my dog was barking at a squirrel in the yard. I opened the door to let him chase the squirrel. I went to look at the dead squirrel and found out it was the neighbor's chihuahua. FML
Today, I found a baby squirrel on the pavement and thought I'd try and rescue it. While I googled what to do, it started running around. I tried to grab it, but it ran straight into the path of a car. FML
Today, I found a dead squirrel under my son's bed. Apparently, he has been keeping it there as a "pet" for the past week. FML
Today, I tried to pet a squirrel because it looked friendly. It did not feel the same way. Now I’m googling things like, "Can squirrels give you rabies?" FML
Today, I was on a drive with my uncle. We saw a dead deer on the side of the road and expressed our pity for it. Then a squirrel runs across the road and my uncle swerves toward the squirrel, laughing hysterically and yelling, "Run rodent run." FML
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Top comments
Laxloverr24 0
haha wow. why would you try to lure it with a pine cone?! sillly., squirrels like acorns. are you nuts?! haha get it? nuts...squirrels. uhh yeaaahh.
morgan_5230 0
You used a pine cone? Hahaha. That's actually really sad though! :(
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Comments (46)
ILoveMyLifeSoMuc 0
#10 i agree
khung835 6
hahahhahahahahahhahaa can't stop laughing :D
SirensMelody 0
LOL. Haha, that's funny. :P
TheLetterZero 7
Punctuation fail.
Aha09 1
*beside. PHAIL. /intentional error
failuristic 3
........Why were you trying to lure a squirrel with a pinecone to begin with? :U Or for that matter, why were you trying to lure any sort of animal with a pinecone? o__o;
baby_gurl2405 0
please excuse my quote of Hmer J. Simpson.... "DOH!"
mikeymuscles112 0
YDI!!!!!!!!!!!
jennnfdsjk 19
dumbass
i_imagine 0
HAHAHAHA! XDDDD