Today, I saw a squirrel beside a tree. Thinking it was cute, I stepped closer, picked up a pine cone and tried to lure it to come closer. After about two minutes of silently squatting on someone's lawn holding a pine cone, I realized the squirrel was dead. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found my cat downstairs with a squirrel dangling from his mouth. When I saw this, I yelled at my cat to put it down. He did. Turns out the squirrel was still alive and run. I had to spend the next three hours chasing it out of my house. FML
Today, I was having a conversation with a friend at the park when my dog ran up to me with something in his mouth. I thought it was a stick. I bent down to take it, only to realize it was a dead squirrel. My dog just stared at me, tongue lolling, like, “It’s a stick, throw it.” FML
Today, I spent hours making an elaborate bird feeder for my backyard. It was finally ready, and I proudly hung it up, imagining the birds chirping happily. Instead, a squirrel discovered it within minutes, devoured all the birdseed, and then gave me a smug look before knocking the feeder to the ground. FML
Today, I was trying to scare a squirrel away from my bird feeder. It was on my privacy fence, so I picked up a rock just to throw at the fence to startle it. I hit the squirrel in the head and he fell off on the other side. I don't know if he's okay or not. FML
Today, I tried to take a selfie with a squirrel and it bit me. FML
Today, my dog was barking at a squirrel in the yard. I opened the door to let him chase the squirrel. I went to look at the dead squirrel and found out it was the neighbor's chihuahua. FML
Today, I found a baby squirrel on the pavement and thought I'd try and rescue it. While I googled what to do, it started running around. I tried to grab it, but it ran straight into the path of a car. FML
Today, I found a dead squirrel under my son's bed. Apparently, he has been keeping it there as a "pet" for the past week. FML
Today, I tried to pet a squirrel because it looked friendly. It did not feel the same way. Now I’m googling things like, "Can squirrels give you rabies?" FML
Today, I was on a drive with my uncle. We saw a dead deer on the side of the road and expressed our pity for it. Then a squirrel runs across the road and my uncle swerves toward the squirrel, laughing hysterically and yelling, "Run rodent run." FML
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Top comments
Laxloverr24 0
haha wow. why would you try to lure it with a pine cone?! sillly., squirrels like acorns. are you nuts?! haha get it? nuts...squirrels. uhh yeaaahh.
morgan_5230 0
You used a pine cone? Hahaha. That's actually really sad though! :(
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Comments (46)
npk88 0
suirrels don't eat pinecones...they eat acorns. Wow you fail
rakhil11 7
squirrels pick the seeds out of pinecones and eat them.
mike101abc 0
I created an account JUST to tell you that that made my day by telling me there are bigger dumb asses out there than me :P
blastvortex 4
It's a good thing it was dead. Even if you tried to entice it with something it would never eat, it's just as likely to have attacked you if it didn't run away. Be thankful you didn't get bitten by a live squirrel instead. Honestly though, it's not like you were crouching there for half an hour either. Do you honestly expect sympathy for wasting two measly minutes? Give me a break. This is neither an FML nor a YDI.
beethoven_fml 0
why did you try to entice it with a pine cone
gameoverman_fml 0
Your life is average. Move on.
magicstars 0
funny bastard
PhillyFox 0
Why did you use a pinecone? Squirrels don't eat them.
diskdude13 0
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha LMAO! that sucks hahaha thanks for making me lol!
Mx_Rider 6
hey, it wasnt dead it played dead. how so? the squirrel is smarter then you. it probably though oh noes here comes another dumbass who thinks he can lure me, yet again with a pinecone,silly humans squirrel 1 op 0
jeniilouise 0
ydi for trying to 'lure' a squirrel.