Today, I had to climb up and sit in a tree for half an hour to avoid being mauled by a huge, insane dog. Its weird-looking owner eventually turned up, sneered at me, and walked off with the visibly smug dog in tow. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took a peaceful walk through the park, and then sat on the grass. As I was enjoying the quiet, a dog appeared out of nowhere and decided my shoes were a chew toy. I spent 10 minutes trying to wrestle my shoes away from this dog, while its owner casually walked in the opposite direction. FML
Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML
Today, my dog was about to get hit by a tree branch, so I yelled for him to move. He got mad and started barking at me. And got nailed by the tree branch. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he decided that he was too lazy to continue walking. It ended up with me looking like a crazy dog lady carrying my medium-sized dog home. FML
Today, knowing very well that I need to be more active, I went for a walk. It quickly turned into a sprint when I was attacked and chased by a dog. FML
Today, I was mauled by my own dog. I own a Chihuahua. FML
Today, a dog attacked me. Its owner, instead of apologizing and helping me, said it was my own fault for making it think I was an attacker by running past them. We were on a jogging track. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He became friendly with another dog, and I reached down to pet them both. Suddenly, an old woman ran up to me and whacked me with her cane repeatedly. Apparently, her previous dog had been kidnapped by a woman who looked a lot like me. FML
Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML
Today, I saw a dog trying to attack a man. I have experience working with aggressive dogs, so I pulled the dog off him and got it under control. The man punched me in the face for not having my dog on a leash. It wasn't my dog. I don't even own a dog. FML
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Top comments
Gloritank 8
Were you pissin on his territory?
tylersign 11
Should have gotten off his damn lawn. Kids and their shenanigans these days.
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Comments (121)
YourDone6 8
kick a bitch in the neck!
lmaoatall 6
Imagine if the tree wasn't there for you to sit in for an hour op! You may not have had a chance to post this fml. Just me looking at the bright side.
DjeePee 25
Poor dog. Really, if you can't take care of a dog properly (which also includes training the dog's behaviour), then you shouldn't have one.
Iskaria 0
It's possible the dog was trained FOR this, sadly.
lilemmy55 10
I diddnt get one word you wrote Lol
goobergirlie 5
Let me simplify: Dog mean, owner mean, owner no say sorry, man sad.
CryMoreFMLs 15
33 - I would've found it funny if her head exploded from trying to figure it out, why help her?
sillyciara 6
scary!
Sonic_boomerang 5
You were in a tree you should have busted a branch off and thrown it maybe he just wanted to play
wegetrz 14
Yea i'm sure the dog wanted to play.. with OPs flesh in his mouth D:
voodoopandaa 0
That sucks, at least you weren't injured though. I once had to have 50 stitches in my face from a dog bite, not fun.
ThatLooksSticky 16
This is the strangest FML I have ever read.
instnt1nfction 17
Hello, you must be new here.
ThatLooksSticky 16
Nope. I should clarify: I find the OP's writing style strange.
CuteDumBlonde64 11
This FML is almost a little hard to read :/ But I kinda got the jist on what you were saying..sorry op.
starfish7 18
Why? It's written using proper English grammar and composition.
Roevera 14
You should of just thrown a stick at it or your shoe.
RedPillSucks 33
Throwing a stick at your shoe would be pointless, unless you mean to amuse the dog to get on its good side.