Today, I had to climb up and sit in a tree for half an hour to avoid being mauled by a huge, insane dog. Its weird-looking owner eventually turned up, sneered at me, and walked off with the visibly smug dog in tow. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took a peaceful walk through the park, and then sat on the grass. As I was enjoying the quiet, a dog appeared out of nowhere and decided my shoes were a chew toy. I spent 10 minutes trying to wrestle my shoes away from this dog, while its owner casually walked in the opposite direction. FML
Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML
Today, my dog was about to get hit by a tree branch, so I yelled for him to move. He got mad and started barking at me. And got nailed by the tree branch. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he decided that he was too lazy to continue walking. It ended up with me looking like a crazy dog lady carrying my medium-sized dog home. FML
Today, knowing very well that I need to be more active, I went for a walk. It quickly turned into a sprint when I was attacked and chased by a dog. FML
Today, I was mauled by my own dog. I own a Chihuahua. FML
Today, a dog attacked me. Its owner, instead of apologizing and helping me, said it was my own fault for making it think I was an attacker by running past them. We were on a jogging track. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He became friendly with another dog, and I reached down to pet them both. Suddenly, an old woman ran up to me and whacked me with her cane repeatedly. Apparently, her previous dog had been kidnapped by a woman who looked a lot like me. FML
Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML
Today, I saw a dog trying to attack a man. I have experience working with aggressive dogs, so I pulled the dog off him and got it under control. The man punched me in the face for not having my dog on a leash. It wasn't my dog. I don't even own a dog. FML
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Top comments
Gloritank 8
Were you pissin on his territory?
tylersign 11
Should have gotten off his damn lawn. Kids and their shenanigans these days.
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Comments (121)
legresley85 1
To bad you don't know where this person lives. You could have called an animal shelter near by their home and informed them about the dog and owner. Its okay to train your dog to be a guard dog, it is not okay however to let it run away and possibly attack someone. It will get put down eventually sadly, some people should not be allowed to own animals. I also hope they don't have any children.
wild_n_out 8
No offense, but I don't understand how crap FMLs like this with grammatical errors get posted, but good ones don't. It doesn't make any sense....
bubo_fml 11
Another pussy stuck up in a tree...
miZscrZee 0
OMGSH. I would of cried! I dont even know how to climb a tree;; that's why I don't ever walk around the block..means dogs scare me.
Angel_Tigeress 5
This makes me sad. I hate shitty owners that treat their dogs so badly that they turn vicious. Usually, it isnt the dogs fault its mean- its just raised that way. But I am sorry you got chased up a tree, OP- not that it isnt just a LITTLE funny ;)
Corygerm 9
I wish I didn't have tiny Asian weiner:(
homieskillet 0
Lmao...
tona01 16
13 let me explain you Well it was a simple crack transaction in the snow-filled shores of the african tundra. The wind blew strongly, as the moonlight gave the icy african landscape a dark and gothic look, the one you expect monsters live in. He came with his chihuahua Fifi in a leash. The cloaked man and his chihuahua asked OP if he had the goods. Of course that Op didn't because OP was actually an undercover cop. The man quickly noticed this so he took fifi's leash releasing the beast in the process. Now you know how OP found himself in the situation the FMl speaks of.
RedPillSucks 33
Part II, the twilight saga. Fifi, it seems, is a lycanthrope who only turns during the african full moon. Curse OPs luck that his undercover sting took him so far from his home, his beloved Florida, where the Aurora Australis would regale him with its wondrous colors. Now he was stuck in this tree with nothing but his left hand and a Klondike bar to entertain him. Unfortunately, for him, Fifi loves Klondike bar, and lycans can climb trees.
tona01 16
Part III Fifi's revenge Op saw his life flashing through his eyes, His childhood, especially the moment when he entered Boner's van searching for free candy. His first love, which sadly was his left hand.And the moment he took the neighborhood watch job, that damn job that took him on this sting. Suddently OP thoughts were interrupted by the sound of fifi's terrible roar.
tona01 16
This was supposed to be a reply for 13, but that stupid bug semd my comment all the way to here...
Calyx_fml 22
You should have pissed on it while you were up there.