Today, I was texting my trainer to rearrange our training session. My girlfriend texted me during the exchange, asking what I wanted for Christmas. I accidentally texted my trainer, "All I want are your sweet titties in my face". I'm awaiting a response. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while at the gym, my boyfriend wouldn't stop texting me. I was confident enough to text while on the treadmill. Bad idea: I hit myself on the bar and tripped in front of everyone. FML
Today, I sent a text message to my girlfriend telling her how much I wanted to make love to her tonight. I've just realized I sent it to her brother. FML
Today, I was Whatsapping my boyfriend, as I am away for work. Before talking to him, I texted my work group I wasn’t feeling well after they invited me out. As I was chatting with what I thought was my boyfriend, I said, “I want your penis inside me.” And then realized I'd texted my work group. FML
Today, my boyfriend of three months texted me saying he loves me. I excitedly started texting back, "I love you too." Before I even got done, he messaged again saying, "Can you send a pic of your tits to me now?" FML
Today, my girlfriend text me and told me to do something sexy because she was going to FaceTime me. I eagerly dropped my pants and started stroking it to get ready for her. As soon as I opened her call, she was standing with my wife. I literally got caught with my dick in my hand. FML
Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML
Today, I got a text message while driving home. I checked after arriving, and found it was a kinky text from my boyfriend, so I sent him an even kinkier reply. He later raged at me, because I somehow should have known he was showing off his phone to his mom when I sent my reply. FML
Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML
Today, I sent a kinky text message to my boyfriend. Within minutes I got a reply of, "Whoever this is, fuck off and give my girlfriend's phone back." Apparently I'm so bad at writing sexy messages that my boyfriend thought it was a prank from someone who'd stolen my phone. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend what he wanted for Christmas. He then told me that he would only tell me if I promised not to get mad, so I agreed. He told me that he wants me to start working out because I'm getting fat. FML
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Top comments
MissHumanoid 0
Hahaha..I'd like to hear the aftermath of this one . :D
smiller0789 3
That'd be even more awkward if your trainer is male.
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Comments (161)
ch4n31 0
aha... keep us posted... im intreaged to say the least :D
boopityboppity 11
I'm intrigued, myself, but to each his or her own.
haquai 0
nice
sourgirl101 29
That's all I want from your girlfriend too. I heard she has some sweet *******.
Blazingcrono 6
Hey now, you're married. no polygamy please.
snickadoodle12 0
amen to that
ctguyfml 4
sweet and sour? lol
SamSayzRAWRZ 0
Ew you're smart
deannoz 0
Since when is being smart gross? Just Saying.
SamSayzRAWRZ 0
sorry I meant for that to be two separate sentences.
SamSayzRAWRZ 0
why would you send that in the first place?
AthinaMarie 0
Lmao xD ^
o0Mayralee0o 0
this mess is really quite easy to clean up
Frasito 0
Spoken like a true horny teenager...!
swagerific227 0
XD
YukiFairy 0
Wow.. that's just too funny. Yeah, just say one of your idiot friends grabbed your phone or something.
boopityboppity 11
This story would only be believable if the OP is under 20.
YukiFairy 0
Yeah maybe so. Still could work though. :P If she's gullible which I doubt.
lovestoomassage 0
hahaha that's effing tight
Quest_ 13
I just got an image of two happy breasts wearing Santa hats. My fingers are crossed for you being in with your trainer now!
AnneFTW 17
YDI for wanting to say that sentence to anyone, ever! Have some respect for your gf.
whatyotalkinbout 0
Not everyone is a massive prude like you.
boopityboppity 11
Way to really hammer your point home, 32, by showing such respect to 30.
Molkerei 0
Its not being a prude its just all i want is your sweet ******* makes you sound like a douche. Knowing the odds he prob is a douche just like you number 32.
Draminicaus 0
Worded the wrong way, maybe? You should've made it romantic, OP. Like say, "Well, I know it's really cold this winter. All I really want for Christmas is to know that you're warm next to me." Then add in a ";)" if you're really trying to get the point accross that you're on Santa's naughty list.
xgetxbentx 13
80 is right, wanting a little respect doesn't make a person prude. I know some girls that would probably beat a dudes ass for saying that shit and they're pretty far from prude. one of them is my guy friends ex and I hear she was a freak in the sheets....sooo yeah.
zolziski 11
Let me get this straight, don't you dare "demean" your girlfriend by telling her you want her sweet ******* in your face because that's disrespectful, but do feel free to discuss what your girlfriend is like in bed with your friends? Interesting... For all we know she's into him saying things like that to her. Who are we to judge what's acceptable within their relationship? My husband and I banter back and forth in a similar tone to the OP's text. People have called my husband a male chauvinist and I have laughed in their faces for it. That's just the way we are with each other. It's fun!
docscientist 10
Yep, exactly 112.
frenchboy95 2
Geez, how many of you saying this is disrespectful have actually been in a serious relationship? My girlfriend and I talk like that to each other all the time. It's not disrespectful. It's called being comfortable with each other. Just like you'd joke around with your friends, saying "hurtful" things when it's just a joke. If you can't make innocent jokes to your significant other, then it isn't going to work out. Due to the fact that OP's text was blunt and straight to the point, I'm guessing this is not the first time he's said something intimate to her. She would have said to stop if she didn't like it. My girlfriend says it's flattering and it turns her on a bit. There's nothing wrong with doing that, is there?
boopityboppity 11
Oh, boy. This was blown way out of hand. 112 is by far the best comment in this thread. The bottom line is: in every relationship, there'll be a different idea of what's acceptable. Although it may appear to do so, my first comment in this thread is not supporting 30, but merely reprimanding 32 for being rude.
msbwc23 0
soooo just go for it