Today, I thought I'd surprise my girlfriend with a bear hug. I found her in the hall with her back to me, talking to friends. As I walked up behind her and was about to wrap my arms around her, she said, "So… does anyone have any ideas about how I should break it off with my boyfriend?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I discovered that my ex-girlfriend, who I dated for 6 years, is getting engaged to my friend. The very same "friend" who's been encouraging me to break up with her for the past year. FML
Today, while sitting next to me, my boyfriend sent a text to one of his "friends" saying, "I'm thinking of you." FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend for another girl. This other girl helped me break up with her so we could date. After it was all done, she promptly rejected me and in front of everyone, saying how much of a douche I was for leaving my girlfriend for another girl. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting to surprise him when he got home from work. I was laying in his bed when he called to tell me we were over. I couldn't leave before he got home. FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. Feeling bad, I texted him a few hours later apologizing. He said it was fine and that he went ahead and picked up a girl from the mall. FML
Today, I poured my heart out to my girlfriend of two years expressing my feelings for her. She responded with, "I'm going to bed." FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML
Today, my best friend told me she was pregnant over the phone. While in the middle of telling her congrats, she told me it was with my boyfriend. FML
Today, my mother and I walked past my boyfriend, whom she's never met. After we casually greeted each other and went on our way, my mother said, "He's cute. Who is he?" I paused for a second and replied, "That's my boyfriend." She then said, "Does he know that?" FML
Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. She decided that her "gift to herself" would be to leave the loser who has been holding her back for two years. Hello, my name is Ben, and I'm that loser. FML
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Top comments
Thoureau 0
I wonder what was said afterwards... "Uhhhh, Ismaeliqua..." "What, he's a ******* greasy-haired, pizza-faced loser who's made me fake it for him every time we've done it, but if I'm straightforward about it, he might go into a whinefest and kill himself." *Other friend points to you* "How is he behind me? I can smell his sweaty ass from space. Hell, I can smell him over...the...phone." *Turns to see you at the last part* "Hey sweetie! I didn't notice you there!" But yeah man, FYL.
malakian_fml 0
"least u don't have to go through that akward break up" - It sounded like a pretty damn awkward break up to me...
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Comments (60)
bigpsycho70 0
lmfao #40 all day
actress5698 1
bear hug her realllllt super hard and maybe u will rupture an organ
katierenee 0
ooooooo that sucks ):
ivygirl 0
#31 yes that's when you say why can't you tell me about right now.then shell turn around and her face will get blush and shell mummble I have to go
mygiraffe 1
awwwhhh, first? nahh(:
sk8trzero53 0
should have played it like you didnt hear, have sex one last time, blow it in her face then break up with her, she deserves it
Littlebrraatt 14
Hey # 37 im about to move to oregen.
hateevryone 15
surprise her ass by breaking up with her first
cheeseywesle 0
stupid next time give her some warning then give her the silent treatment the break it off with her................not that hard asshole
jmac800 0
That really sucks. It kinda happened to me too. My girlfriend didn't have a phone so I was gonna text her ipod touch. Then I was about to send it when I got a text from her saying that she decided she was gonna break up with me and I'm right above one of her best friends Jen on her Ipod contacts.