Today, I thought I'd surprise my girlfriend with a bear hug. I found her in the hall with her back to me, talking to friends. As I walked up behind her and was about to wrap my arms around her, she said, "So… does anyone have any ideas about how I should break it off with my boyfriend?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I discovered that my ex-girlfriend, who I dated for 6 years, is getting engaged to my friend. The very same "friend" who's been encouraging me to break up with her for the past year. FML
Today, while sitting next to me, my boyfriend sent a text to one of his "friends" saying, "I'm thinking of you." FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend for another girl. This other girl helped me break up with her so we could date. After it was all done, she promptly rejected me and in front of everyone, saying how much of a douche I was for leaving my girlfriend for another girl. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting to surprise him when he got home from work. I was laying in his bed when he called to tell me we were over. I couldn't leave before he got home. FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. Feeling bad, I texted him a few hours later apologizing. He said it was fine and that he went ahead and picked up a girl from the mall. FML
Today, I poured my heart out to my girlfriend of two years expressing my feelings for her. She responded with, "I'm going to bed." FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML
Today, my best friend told me she was pregnant over the phone. While in the middle of telling her congrats, she told me it was with my boyfriend. FML
Today, my mother and I walked past my boyfriend, whom she's never met. After we casually greeted each other and went on our way, my mother said, "He's cute. Who is he?" I paused for a second and replied, "That's my boyfriend." She then said, "Does he know that?" FML
Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. She decided that her "gift to herself" would be to leave the loser who has been holding her back for two years. Hello, my name is Ben, and I'm that loser. FML
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Top comments
Thoureau 0
I wonder what was said afterwards... "Uhhhh, Ismaeliqua..." "What, he's a ******* greasy-haired, pizza-faced loser who's made me fake it for him every time we've done it, but if I'm straightforward about it, he might go into a whinefest and kill himself." *Other friend points to you* "How is he behind me? I can smell his sweaty ass from space. Hell, I can smell him over...the...phone." *Turns to see you at the last part* "Hey sweetie! I didn't notice you there!" But yeah man, FYL.
malakian_fml 0
"least u don't have to go through that akward break up" - It sounded like a pretty damn awkward break up to me...
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Comments (60)
moonpiglet 4
I guess she doesn't need their advice anymore -_-
NellyFC35 19
that's when you say "dont worry about it ill take care of that for you"
REFF_fml 9
You should have said " how about telling him straight up and not talking behind his back"
jessy5210 6
I want a boyfriend that gives me hugs from behind :( she sounds like a bitch, u could do better
tanlewis27 7
Holy shit! Do you not know how to spell?
Rectov 10
Be like "oh I was gonna break up with you too! How convenient! Bye!"
jc1015 25
whisper in her ear that it's already taken care of then walk away.