Today, I angrily tweeted about having fruitlessly searched for over an hour for my car keys. Minutes later, some guy told me to check beneath the "stack of skid-marked underwear" on my bedroom floor. I'm not sure if it was a lucky guess, or if I should start carrying mace. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I spent an hour frantically searching for my car keys, turning the entire apartment upside down. After giving up and calling a locksmith, I found the keys… in the fridge. Because apparently I put my leftover pizza on top of them. FML
Today, my car keys decided to play hide and seek. Good news: I found them under my bed. Bad news: it was after my job interview was scheduled to start. FML
Today, I was running late for an important meeting and couldn't find my car keys. After searching around for way too long, I finally realised where they were - in the pocket of the pants I'd worn the day before, which were now spinning around in the now-unstoppable, two-hour washing machine cycle. FML
Today, I went through my purse to see where my keys were. I found my house keys, but not my car keys, so I freaked out. When I remembered that I was driving, I felt stupid. FML
Today, my toddler thought it would be funny to hide my car keys. After searching for hours, I found them in his toy box. FML
Today, I had a job interview but couldn't find my car keys. I had searched the entire apartment and had missed the interview. Turns out they were in my pocket the entire time. FML
Today, I was at the gym. At the end of my workout, I realised I lost the bundle of keys I had in my pocket that contained the key to my locker with all my stuff. I panic and start looking for them. After an hour of desperate searching, I find them thrown in the bottom of the public toilet. Thanks. FML
Today, I spent five minutes sitting in my car, panicking and tearing my purse apart because I couldn't find my keys. I then found them. They were in the ignition, and the car was running. FML
Today, after locking my keys in the car and waiting three hours for my mom to bring me my spare, I reached into my bag only to find my keys. FML
Today, after being without my car keys for two days, I finally got a locksmith to unlock my car on the off chance I'd left my keys in there. $170 later, the car was open, but I didn't find my keys. Frustrated, I threw the paperwork in the garbage... where I spotted my keys. FML
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Top comments
kirtpar 0
Or just start washing your undies ^.^
Yellow_Fish79 11
Yeah, I'd probably start carrying around a mace. And a bat. And a gun. .... and a rape whistle.
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Comments (174)
mxpklx 12
Why mace? Why not a mace?
Mister_Triangle 21
Why not Zoidberg?
flea_of_death 23
Mace Windu, of course! =)
JanaBreon 5
Lmao!
Sumo69 9
You like to think that's a nice safe hiding spot for valuables like jewelry and car keys but obviously someone know you hide stuff there
alvarny 17
It's a lucky guess. Always look for missing things below your underwear.
BrianneAlex 10
Haha Im not necessarily worried about that.. But the "skid marked" underwear. Gross...
KVKdragon 26
Time to board up your windows and carrying mace on the keychain that you just found. This is obviously a sign that someone is creeping on you and you should be careful. In fact, if you do reach a certain high level of anxiety about this, file a report with the police so you can honestly say you did something about it or at least tried to. You never know, it could help out in the long run. Whatever happens, good luck :(
RhymeTyme 3
I really hope you're not serious Because then you would be delirious She doesn't need to worry I just hope next time she wipes she not in such a hurry
downtime 13
20, I think if you were to report this you'd be wasting everyones time. When someone says they've lost something it isn't uncommon for someone to make a smart assed remark like that. The only sad thing is reading that much into it.
perdix 31
You should probably carry a Tide To Go Stain Stick. . . and learn to wipe properly.
pulore 3
That was my first thought.
hrubi4x4 4
Get the mace
Ffuuu 10
You can shit your pants now !
radiocrash 4
try wiping your ass to start