Today, as I was lying on my bed with one of my arms hanging from the side, I felt something sniff my hand from underneath. I don't have any pets. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I made my way to bed around 4am after spending all night hanging out with my family. When I got to my bed, I started to clear a spot to lay down. Almost immediately, my hand touched something furry and cold and, fearing the worst, I turned the light on. Turns out my cat left me a half eaten rodent. FML
Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML
Today, I woke up from a nap and thought I felt somebody's arm in my bed. I frantically start hitting it and start screaming. I soon realized it was my own arm. I'd fallen asleep on it, and it was completely numb, I couldn't feel a thing. FML
Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML
Today, I was sitting on my couch when I felt something weird underneath me. I got up, thinking I'd sat on my phone or something. Wrong. I'd sat on a live mouse. FML
Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML
Today, I awoke to a strange feeling on my feet. It felt like a tongue, so at first thought it was the dog, but we don't have one. I looked down and it was my roommate. FML
Today, I saw my dog sleeping, so I laid next to her and put her arm around my neck to be cute. Only for her to wake up and bite my nose. FML
Today, I was laying with my face dangling down the side of my bed, when my kitten rushed up to me looking worried. He sniffed me for a while, then decided the best thing to do was to stand on his hind legs and start punching my face like a speed bag. FML
Today, I was feeding my pets and playing with my puppy when I suddenly felt something behind me. My cat is on the arm of the couch steadily spanking my butt with his paw. I can't win! FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
enamis 3
Well, what was it!? You can't just leave us hanging!
TheCamoWulf 17
You either have a ghost of a decease animal or you have a weird burglar.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (89)
Obex 1
Be concerned when it starts trying to sniff your crotch.
FlyingMonkey228 5
Just saw a mouse in my place yesterday but think it was making a dash for it cos I devoided it of food recently (cos usually I use the undersink bin). Look out for tiny poop which looks like black rice but smaller.
LyraAlluse 25
Time to call pest control. Or an exorcist. Or the Ghost Busters. Whichever comes first.
spiritfang11237 16
so call all of them and pay the first one that makes it there?
LyraAlluse 25
Yep, something like that. Or just keep all three around just in case.
unhappycamperuk 12
I'm having horrible flashbacks to the urban legend with the dead dog hanging in the bathtub and the murderer licking the girls hand when she hangs it off the bed for reassurance.
unhappycamperuk 12
which, to this day, at age 29, is the reason I won't allow any part of my body to extend over the edge of the bed, and get scared if I have to look under the bed, even in broad daylight.
unhappycamperuk 12
so thankyou, I didn't ever want to sleep again!
jem970 19
Oh my god! I dont watch scary movies for that reason! I would never be able to function normally again! Basements and attics? Forget 'em. Camping? You couldn't pay me. Old houses? Not even on drugs. I mean id never leave my room!
mim777 4
now not even Your room is safe !
jlcole1 10
I feel even more justified in refusing to let an arm or leg hang off the bed.
grahmagog 14
It was probably that hamster you abandoned when you were three and its came back for its vengeance
coldblood 4
Meow.
jem970 19
Congratulations you have rodents or midsized outdoor pets coming inside. Careful of ratcoons. They have horrible diseases.
Jemm_fml 29
Dude this freaked me out. Excellent horror story in two sentences.
milanpatel 10
Dude this freaked me out. Excellent horror story in two sentences.