Today, my new roommate showed me to my room, which I got a good deal on. I noticed a big black spot on the floor in the walk-in closet. When I asked, he said his last roommate committed suicide and he didn't want to pay to have the carpets professionally cleaned, hence the "good deal." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I decided to do a good bit of spring cleaning. When my apartment was finally spotless I went to lie down. I woke up later to find my drunk flatmate passed out in a puddle of her own puke on the living room's carpet. FML
Today, after our old roommate left because he was too dirty for us to live with anymore, we found out that our new roommate has "borrowed" our shampoo, towel, toilet paper, liquor, without replacing them. I wish we still only had to clean up. FML
Today, my roommate decided to splash out on a prostitute. When my expensive watch and the contents of my wallet turned up missing in the aftermath, his only comment was, "Shit happens, bro." FML
Today, my roommate and I had to pay our first installment of rent. He's nowhere to be found. FML
Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML
Today, I moved back into my room, which I'd sublet for a few months. The subtenant never paid any rent and is gone, but she did leave me something: my own underwear on the floor, which she apparently liked to wear, but didn't seem to like to wash. FML
Today, my roommate of a year and good friend of several more decided to move out. When I came home from a long work shift, I found all the cupboards emptied out of everything, including all the new stuff I bought to replace what she was going to take with her. FML
Today, my roommate is being evicted. Since we had some very good memories together, I was sad to come home and see all of her stuff gone...and half of my stuff, too. FML
Today, I moved in with my in-laws and don't yet have money to pay rent, so I'm keeping to myself and staying out of trouble. While trying to write a thank you card, I spilled black ink all over the new rug and it bled through to the carpet. I might need to find a new place to live. FML
Today, my roommate moved out. When I went into his room, I found a few things he forgot. Specifically, his beer bottle filled with nail clippings. I emptied it onto my hand before I realized what it was. FML
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Top comments
_krystallynn_ 11
i would probably leave. this guy must be a pretty bad roommate if people who live with him kill themselves 0_o
etchsanity1 11
Hmmm girl living with guy suspicious bloodstains .... Get a padlock for your door and a handgun... Or move
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Comments (165)
Major_Whupass 3
Move! Now!
awkward_gothlady 32
It just occurred to me...how do you know it really was a suicide?
jokeables 0
Oh my gosh that's horrible, maybe you should get the carpet professionally cleaned if he's too dense to :/
Pandasaurus 14
That's some ****** up shit..
sillyyanks 24
I think you've all missed my point completely!! What I mean is that when he realised he was getting such a nice pad for such a cheap price, you've got to ask "what's the catch"!! I don't think many sensible people wouldn't check if they knew the price was way below the market.
JokersHQ 21
Dude I would get out of there! That's crazy!
blackwidowtaco 31
I'd move out ASAP, no amount of money saved is worth your peace of mind at night.
fantasyworld 39
That's horrible.
ChuckNorris101 4
here we have a girl with a male roommate. Just one question....how would you like to play a game?
Richtofen115 16
this is grounds for a lawsuit.