Today, I woke up on the top bunk of my bed with the birds chirping. I felt so energized, I gave a big stretch, and my hand hit the ceiling. I accidentally pushed the ceiling board up and lots of tiny spiders fell on me and my bed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML
Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML
Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
Today, I fell off the top of my bunk bed in my sleep onto a running fan. FML
Today, after a long day at work, I was ready to wind down for the night. I sat on my bed and turned towards a fluttering on my left. I saw the biggest daddy-longlegs inches from my face, jumped in the other direction, forgetting there was a wall, and hit my head on it. I'm now officially wide awake. FML
Today, while typing at my desk, I leaned back in my chair to stretch my arms. A spider dangling from the ceiling must have been watching me since it had perfect timing on its descent right into my open yawning mouth. FML
Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML
Today, I got to experience the unadulterated horror of waking up to a spider crawling across my face. My screaming woke the neighbors. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML
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Top comments
SOCALME 3
You took the term "raise the roof" too literally...
jakerb0b 0
i hate spiders
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Comments (77)
traze 7
breakfast in bed.
Gothicabra 0
I would never sleep again without my newly purchased flamethower under my pillow o.O
twi4eva789 0
wow who has ceiling boards in their house anymore?
alexiiiis09 0
I MODERATED THIS WOOP WOOP!(; happy turkey day
t765234 10
That'll teach you to try to enjoy a beautiful morning
Dez31396 0
I would have never been able to feel clean again after having the nastiest ******* creature in the entire universe on mmy body... ad I would burn that bed....
mola_mola 3
i think the nastiest creatures are humans...no other race on Earth is so unnecessarily viscious
bombiezz_1103 0
Oh my gosh, I hate spiders! FYL.
DakotaCat 4
Why do people hate spideys so much.. Now lizards, lizards are gross..
CheshireKattt 0
I would laugh so hard if I saw that I would shit a dinosaur
Nbezzy 0
Lmao