Today, yet again, my boss whined to me like a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boss sent me to a meeting with a client I've never met to do some damage control and renegotiate his contract. For two hours, he alternated between threatening to sue us, and making vulgar comments about raping me in his office. FML
Today, after telling my boss that trailing a hand up someone's leg and leering at them constantly is counted as sexual harassment, I got called an "unappreciative little whiny bitch." FML
Today, I went to deliver some reports to my boss in his office. He was facing away from me and ranting about his "useless employees", so I slipped in and waited for him to put the phone down. Turns out he was talking to himself. When he noticed me, he bitched me out and threatened to fire me. FML
Today, my spineless shitwhip of a boss made me go fire a notoriously abusive employee. I had to act like firing him was my decision, even though I'm the secretary. Now I get to live in constant fear that the guy was serious when he threatened to find out where I live and kill me. FML
Today, I told my boss about a coworker that had been hitting on me. She looked me dead in the eye and said "I was afraid that would happen. He's a bit of a chubby chaser." FML
Today, my boss called me to his office, and played back a recording of me telling a co-worker that if I still worked there in a year, I would hang myself. He then bitched me out for unprofessional conduct. The taped conversation took place over a year ago, with my recently ex-boyfriend. FML
Today, my boss fired me after chewing me out for the horrible date he had with my mother. FML
Today, I tried to drown out the petulant whining of my idiot coworker as he droned on and on about how, “bitches don’t appreciate good men.” He’s 35, lives at home, still uses the term 'friendzone' and has the hygiene of a sewer-dwelling ogre. I was written up for for snapping and yelling at him. FML
Today, my boss found me on a dating app. He found it perfectly acceptable to message me and didn't understand why I wasn't comfortable with it. He now wants to have a meeting with me about inappropriate behavior outside of work. FML
Today, I went to my boss with concerns that my manager is dumping her responsibilities on me. He agreed and told me to just do whatever she wants. She gets paid twice as much as me to talk on her cellphone all day. FML
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Top comments
LadyGore 12
I'm pretty sure that's sexual harassment and can be sued for that.
JJBADGE10 7
That sucks sorry OP that your boss is a creeper
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Comments (123)
RoboCunnilingus 23
All due respect, he's still your boss, op. Bad judgement call.
Lionesse 15
It's true, the the creep is your boss, but would you want to work under someone who sexually harasses people? Perhaps the OP could of handled the situation more tactically but to be honest, I don't blame them for blowing up. Creeps like the boss need to be dealt with accordingly
silverhm2 4
Umm no that's wrong and is considered a hostile work environment ...that boss can ****** for he's doing ...lesbian or not ...disrespecting a woman (or anyone for that matter) at there place of business is wrong
chinagirl3343 8
Report him to hr... You should've done that when you realized he was stalking her. I think ydi for that fact alone.
raycj 1
He needs a hobby, besides stalking!
xXxIracebethxXx 14
So as long as he finds a hobby, stalking is okay? Amazing logic.
Flora_fml 6
Ditto everyone who says to report this to HR. Not only is he sexually harassing your coworker, he disciplined you without a legitimate reason. If you've been documenting his behavior, I'd suggest you go talk to a free lawyers' clinic (if there is one in your area) for advice. This entire scenario is very wrong.
sheethapins 13
Not only is it sexually harassing a co-worker but it's also abusing power of position.
Capt_Oblivious 10
It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.
chris_42 11
What the **** are you trying to say?
pheebs314 17
its a line from silence of the lambs but it doesn't really work with this fml...
saidoh_fml 26
There's an FML further down where someone gets hit in the face with a hose so it could be that the comment was meant for that, although it is pretty far down so I'm not quite sure how commenting on the wrong FML in this case would have happened.
Lionesse 15
It's one thing for a creep to be your coworker but if it's you boss, then the situation can get out of hand really quick. To be safe, I'd file report. You never know what can happen. Creepers like him can always spin a story to make you look bad D:
perdix 31
You're a dumb ****! You should be sympathetic and give your boss dating advice. Give him more and more elaborate ways to make an ass of himself in front of her. Tell him to oil his chest and text her shirtless photos of himself. You can appear to be supporting your boss and have hilarious fun at the same time. This is how you have a great career.
perdix 31
Who's thumbing this down? If you are a student or are new to the working world, you should thumb comment #22 up and commit it to memory. This is good shit here!
cameron194 9
Yea I don't know why you're thumbing perdix down.. He's offering a golden plan to get back at his boss for putting up with his endless stories of current endeavours of trying to get laid day after day.. You could try to Possibly get him fired and take his position :D
nesscafe_fml 17
Maybe because you have not considered how this would affect the secretary! Women have to deal with enough of this shit as it is.
greenwich1945 13
Maybe because not enough people understand how sarcasm works?
Kazenoe 24
Or maybe because many people find joking about sexual abuse distasteful?
perdix 31
#58, CTFD, that's not sexual abuse, that's making a damn fool of yourself! Pictures of the boss's oily moobs? That's just funny and pathetic.
lexa1love 16
Well I thought it was funny. Besides if I had oily pics of my boss, well that would just be another thing to take to HR.
BjgUsername 12
52- its sarcasm, besides if the secretary had any sense of humor she'd get a good laugh from it.
patriotsfan12 4
Perdix is right never lose it on your boss
olpally 33
He needs the therapist. You need ************ jones to kill this asshole. Lol. What a creep!
llama612 27
sounds like your boss needs to be reported. You probs shouldn't have lost it at him though but it's good you are sticking up for your co worker.
meridius4510 4
That's a FYL and a YDI, lol