Today, my boyfriend wanted to make breakfast. Since I usually do all the cooking, I said that was fine. Four hours later, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the sidewalk across the street as the firemen sprayed down the burnt remains of our kitchen. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML
Today, I cooked dinner for my boyfriend, hoping to impress him with my culinary skills. I burnt the garlic bread, overcooked the chicken, and managed to set off the smoke alarm three times. When I finally served the meal, my boyfriend said, "It's like a sad buffet at a middle school prom." FML
Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it was OK for both of us to leave the house with the oven on. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our anniversary. I had cooked him a romantic meal and we were planning on eating it in front of the fire. This would have gone great had I not forgotten to unblock the chimney. My entire basement filled with smoke and didn't clear for three hours. FML
Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML
Today, I woke up early and made my boyfriend french toast. When he woke up, he yelled at me because it was his dish day and I was creating more dishes for him to do. He made me do the dishes. FML
Today, to impress my date with dinner, I spent hours prepping and cooking. Just as I was about to serve her, I realized I'd left the stove on and my kitchen was on fire. As the fire trucks arrived and my date looked on in horror, I couldn't help but think, "My cooking is so hot it literally set the house on fire." FML
Today, my partner took a shower while in the middle of cooking something. My eyes are still burning from the smoke. FML
Today, I went to this coffee shop in town that has a fire pit outdoors with my boyfriend. I threw out the idea of sitting by the fire together, and he responded by telling me that his father and dog died in a house fire when he was young. FML
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Top comments
Harpy20 24
Was there a spider?
JoshuahColins 19
It's the thought that counts :)
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Comments (79)
ostfaiz 18
start skipping breakfasts...lol ;)
wvcheesehead 13
A new exotic dish... kitchen flambe'
juan3611 14
There was a spider?
brutaltruth 3
No good deed attempted goes unpunished.. Enough said.
Frostillicus123 10
I think what you have yourself is a girlfriend.
byron17 26
Plot twist, he was making cereal...
militaryguy95 12
If he burned down the house from prepping cereal there is a major problem there. He might be a moron
False_Stupidity 42
He might have thought that he had to toast the toasted muesli himself.
byron17 26
Have you ever seen the simpsons episode "Homer the Smithers"?
daydreamer244 13
Maybe he should've been being monitored......
worldclassrager 41
What an egg-splosive breakfast...hope the damage wasn't too extensive...
ladybugz23 13
at least he try his best to cook :)
militaryguy95 12
hopefully you have good insurance on your house