Today, my boyfriend wanted to make breakfast. Since I usually do all the cooking, I said that was fine. Four hours later, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the sidewalk across the street as the firemen sprayed down the burnt remains of our kitchen. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML
Today, I cooked dinner for my boyfriend, hoping to impress him with my culinary skills. I burnt the garlic bread, overcooked the chicken, and managed to set off the smoke alarm three times. When I finally served the meal, my boyfriend said, "It's like a sad buffet at a middle school prom." FML
Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it was OK for both of us to leave the house with the oven on. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our anniversary. I had cooked him a romantic meal and we were planning on eating it in front of the fire. This would have gone great had I not forgotten to unblock the chimney. My entire basement filled with smoke and didn't clear for three hours. FML
Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML
Today, I woke up early and made my boyfriend french toast. When he woke up, he yelled at me because it was his dish day and I was creating more dishes for him to do. He made me do the dishes. FML
Today, to impress my date with dinner, I spent hours prepping and cooking. Just as I was about to serve her, I realized I'd left the stove on and my kitchen was on fire. As the fire trucks arrived and my date looked on in horror, I couldn't help but think, "My cooking is so hot it literally set the house on fire." FML
Today, my partner took a shower while in the middle of cooking something. My eyes are still burning from the smoke. FML
Today, I went to this coffee shop in town that has a fire pit outdoors with my boyfriend. I threw out the idea of sitting by the fire together, and he responded by telling me that his father and dog died in a house fire when he was young. FML
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Top comments
Harpy20 24
Was there a spider?
JoshuahColins 19
It's the thought that counts :)
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Comments (79)
Sebastian2022 22
These are the romantic, funny memories you'll be laughing about later. :)
Shinybaconplays 17
You should break up immediately
emily4040 18
Why would they break up? It was an honest mistake.
False_Stupidity 42
Because this is FML and even the slightest mistake is just cause to break up/divorce.
TupniTuptuo 29
It was all part of his master plan to never have to cook again, because now you won't let him.
mybubbles2000 13
I am so sorry OP. I would never let him into the kitchen again.
whattfreshhhelll 2
Maybe that was his plan all along..
drshn 22
i don't know whether this will cheer you but i think this is the most epic FML!!!
justmeCee 16
I hope you have renters / home owners insurance Op. I think after this you should perhaps give your boyfriend some cooking lessons.
Bluebl4ze 16
OP's boyfriend should've written the FML, much worse for him.
IAmMe204 25
Well since you say both are now outside, look at the bright side other than the fact that it was a nice gesture you are, I assume from the FML, alright. :)
StealthRaid 7
I wonder if he can even make Ramon Noodles...
MidnaLink 35
Ramen? Pffft, that's nothing! If he can't make ice, then there's a problem.
wvcheesehead 13
Ramon noodles sounds like a Latino version of ramen noodles.... I will use that next time and serve them with refried beans.
sunnymanutd 8
What.. !!! Did you both start love making session in the middle and forgot about the kitchen?