Today, my boyfriend wanted to make breakfast. Since I usually do all the cooking, I said that was fine. Four hours later, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the sidewalk across the street as the firemen sprayed down the burnt remains of our kitchen. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML
Today, I cooked dinner for my boyfriend, hoping to impress him with my culinary skills. I burnt the garlic bread, overcooked the chicken, and managed to set off the smoke alarm three times. When I finally served the meal, my boyfriend said, "It's like a sad buffet at a middle school prom." FML
Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it was OK for both of us to leave the house with the oven on. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our anniversary. I had cooked him a romantic meal and we were planning on eating it in front of the fire. This would have gone great had I not forgotten to unblock the chimney. My entire basement filled with smoke and didn't clear for three hours. FML
Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML
Today, I woke up early and made my boyfriend french toast. When he woke up, he yelled at me because it was his dish day and I was creating more dishes for him to do. He made me do the dishes. FML
Today, to impress my date with dinner, I spent hours prepping and cooking. Just as I was about to serve her, I realized I'd left the stove on and my kitchen was on fire. As the fire trucks arrived and my date looked on in horror, I couldn't help but think, "My cooking is so hot it literally set the house on fire." FML
Today, my partner took a shower while in the middle of cooking something. My eyes are still burning from the smoke. FML
Today, I went to this coffee shop in town that has a fire pit outdoors with my boyfriend. I threw out the idea of sitting by the fire together, and he responded by telling me that his father and dog died in a house fire when he was young. FML
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Top comments
Harpy20 24
Was there a spider?
JoshuahColins 19
It's the thought that counts :)
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Comments (79)
lynds71 12
Example A that women are made to be awesome cooks.
rachangie 19
Not exactly. I can't cook. I can bake but for some reason every time I cook things end up burnt. My boyfriend does most of the cooking in our home.
EvilLittleMan 23
Has your boyfriend now been classified as your Hunk of Burning Love?
Adam5858 17
How is it now much damage?Follow up needed but anyway look on the bright side.....your internet is still working
brittyboo123 35
Guess you now know why you're the one to always cook!
llamaslikesoda 21
That's pretty hot.
tayymeds 23
hey it's the thought that counts?
llamaslikesoda 21
It gets pretty frustrating when you just comment exactly what someone already has. You may be getting attention, not positive attention though!
savannabrooks17 12
Well at least he tried:)
GuiLD15 7
so fayk
bleu85 11
I hope you guys have an insurance
johbstonjacob 8
How do you burn cereal?