Today, my boyfriend wanted to make breakfast. Since I usually do all the cooking, I said that was fine. Four hours later, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the sidewalk across the street as the firemen sprayed down the burnt remains of our kitchen. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML
Today, I cooked dinner for my boyfriend, hoping to impress him with my culinary skills. I burnt the garlic bread, overcooked the chicken, and managed to set off the smoke alarm three times. When I finally served the meal, my boyfriend said, "It's like a sad buffet at a middle school prom." FML
Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it was OK for both of us to leave the house with the oven on. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our anniversary. I had cooked him a romantic meal and we were planning on eating it in front of the fire. This would have gone great had I not forgotten to unblock the chimney. My entire basement filled with smoke and didn't clear for three hours. FML
Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML
Today, I woke up early and made my boyfriend french toast. When he woke up, he yelled at me because it was his dish day and I was creating more dishes for him to do. He made me do the dishes. FML
Today, to impress my date with dinner, I spent hours prepping and cooking. Just as I was about to serve her, I realized I'd left the stove on and my kitchen was on fire. As the fire trucks arrived and my date looked on in horror, I couldn't help but think, "My cooking is so hot it literally set the house on fire." FML
Today, my partner took a shower while in the middle of cooking something. My eyes are still burning from the smoke. FML
Today, I went to this coffee shop in town that has a fire pit outdoors with my boyfriend. I threw out the idea of sitting by the fire together, and he responded by telling me that his father and dog died in a house fire when he was young. FML
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Top comments
Harpy20 24
Was there a spider?
JoshuahColins 19
It's the thought that counts :)
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Comments (79)
talk2sachinkumar 5
was it your house?
nlm92 15
I would hope not xD
Rallred32 20
23, your comment has NOTHING to do with the comment you replied to. Pitiful. By the way, chances are it was ops house.
SS 31
#23 today was day 3 of renting out my house. They've already burnt it down. FML XD
Rallred32 20
Whoah. It looked like you said "as a male, I make a damn good omelette. Then, when I went back to check if it got published, your comment changed.
illegalbeagle69 23
My guess would be he commented on the wrong comment so he changed this one to fit the comment he replied to, then went and replied to the right comment like 2 or 3 comments up about his "damn fine omelette"
GraceyBlueEyes 13
It clearly states "our kitchen", so in all likelihood it's both if theirs.
NodakN8V 25
Does he know the fire alarm doesn't mean breakfast is done.... Maybe cherry flambeau wasn't the right choice to start out with.
purpleamber1 11
dying dude just dying laughing at this comment. XD!!! i cant stop laughing! cherry flambeau!!
thomcmoore 23
We don't need no water
cdawg69 10
your right. in this fml we need milk.. breaks up the tetrahydron of fire and could have stopped the flames right there
thomcmoore 23
Tetrahedron, but yes. That is correct but it misses the reference.
tiarnatargaryen 23
LET THE MOTHER ****** BURN
DanielleinDC 34
Burn, ************, burn...
tbone5466 9
what in gods name does one make for breakfast that results in a kitchen fire unless he literally put eggs on the stove and went for a run
thomcmoore 23
Anything with oil. Or fire. Or a toaster. Then again, what do I know?
TheDrifter 24
Setting margarine next to the toaster, buttering the bread before toasting (I believe there's already an fml about fire from that one) spilling oil on a hot element. There are actually a surprising number of seemingly small kitchen mistakes that can lead to a fire if unattended.
ThomasBombadil 31
Was he trying out for the TV show _Man, Fire, Food!_?
JMichael 26
think of it as a funny story to tell the next time he asks to cook
SS 31
Some things are funny upon reflection. I cannot imagine burning your house / apartment down would be a particularly funny thing.
foxwasalamb 24
i think if you kept mentioning it, that would make the other person feel bad and inadequate. if you don't have a particularly good sex experience, you wouldn't keep reliving it for the other person to feel shitty about, would you? "remember that time, you lasted for a minute, and i felt nothing?" yeah no.
thisiscool19 14
He tried, at least give him that
mrz1177 11
Any guy who can cook is hot.
Sigilwen 24
Then he's out of luck
avlcek855 9
Never let HIM cook again!
nlm92 15
Burned? I prefer well done