Today, I was standing outside a store about to flirt with this guy when my mother drove up and shouted, "Hurry up, I have diarrhea!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
Today, I got severe diarrhea in a public bathroom. I told my 6-year-old to stand directly outside the stall where I can see her shoes. She proceeded to inform everyone who came in that "Mommy has diarrhea." FML
Today, I went grocery shopping with my 4-year-old after having some major bathroom issues. As I walked over to get bananas, she yelled out in the middle of the produce section, "DO YOU STILL HAVE DIARRHEA MOMMY?!" FML
Today, the guy I've had the biggest crush on came to my house to pick me up for our first date. As we were leaving, my father screams out "Do you still have diarrhea?" I don't have diarrhea. My dad thinks he's so funny. FML
Today, I was hit on by a guy who decided to use the line, "My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in." FML
Today, I was jogging through my neighborhood and then I notice this cute guy running beside me, we stoped and flirted for a while and my mom drove past. She then rolled down the window and said "Honey, you owe me for the dry cleaning on your period pants." FML
Today, I was at my Mandarin teacher's house. I had diarrhoea and had to go to the toilet. My mum texted me while I was still in the toilet saying, "We all heard you". FML
Today, I was driving home when I saw my boyfriend chundering on the side of the road, into an old lady's shopping basket. FML
Today, I was outside when I was suddenly overcome by an intense need to shit. The back door was locked, so I tried to run to the front, but couldn't make it. As I squatted in the bushes, my girlfriend came home unexpectedly. She screamed and called me a sick, disgusting freak. FML
Today, while my nephews got ready for school, my boyfriend walked into the bathroom to ask me if he could accompany us to the bus stop. Unfortunately, I couldn’t hold my diarrhea anymore. As he was asking, I began to loudly relieve myself. He looked at me in shock and just said, “Oh okay, I’ll fuck off now.” FML
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Top comments
MoonyIce 0
Claaaassic. That's too awesome. At least you were only 'about' to flirt with him and hadn't actually started in on it.
justdancebbyx3 7
You should have said to the guy "My love for you is like my mother's diarrhea. It can't be held in."
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Comments (68)
UpYoursLiar 1
Hahahahahaha! Serves you right, loser. Who would want to flirt with you anyway? Being related to a moron like that. I can only imagine how ugly you must be.
Rocksygen 0
Hey troll, why the hell to you judge the girl for her mother's actions? Go to bed dude, take a nap.
ghost0609 0
if you know hes a troll, then why bother tryin?
klovemachine 24
11 = loser :)
bethiie 0
This is what you call a true FML. If my mum did that then i would never talk to her again and i wouldn't be able to live that down...
browni_e 0
This literally made me L O L
schwinn11 0
Wow, what a perfect ice breaker
thinmint 0
That sucks OP, it's rly not even funny, just embarrassing for you
blazingman311 1
So? You may not know this, but 99% of guys find diarrhea incredibly arousing.
sleephunters 8
I'm in the 1% margin. Thats incredibly disgusting.
quackquackquac 0
99% of statistics are false.
KatieGoesRawrr 0
Win! I heart chuu.
barbosa1001 0
You'll probably flirt with another guy tomorrow.
Cowless 0
Would you prefer to be driven home in a car full of diarrhea?
tubesocks_ 0
That's so embarrassing for you, yet so hilarious. I can't get over how easily she could just roll down the window and shout to the world about her diarrhea. I'd be too embarrassed to say anything like that in public.
HyperExecuter 0
ha, #11 rocks. get a life girl, no one wants to flirt with you any ways.