Today, I was standing outside a store about to flirt with this guy when my mother drove up and shouted, "Hurry up, I have diarrhea!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
Today, I got severe diarrhea in a public bathroom. I told my 6-year-old to stand directly outside the stall where I can see her shoes. She proceeded to inform everyone who came in that "Mommy has diarrhea." FML
Today, I went grocery shopping with my 4-year-old after having some major bathroom issues. As I walked over to get bananas, she yelled out in the middle of the produce section, "DO YOU STILL HAVE DIARRHEA MOMMY?!" FML
Today, the guy I've had the biggest crush on came to my house to pick me up for our first date. As we were leaving, my father screams out "Do you still have diarrhea?" I don't have diarrhea. My dad thinks he's so funny. FML
Today, I was hit on by a guy who decided to use the line, "My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in." FML
Today, I was jogging through my neighborhood and then I notice this cute guy running beside me, we stoped and flirted for a while and my mom drove past. She then rolled down the window and said "Honey, you owe me for the dry cleaning on your period pants." FML
Today, I was at my Mandarin teacher's house. I had diarrhoea and had to go to the toilet. My mum texted me while I was still in the toilet saying, "We all heard you". FML
Today, I was driving home when I saw my boyfriend chundering on the side of the road, into an old lady's shopping basket. FML
Today, I was outside when I was suddenly overcome by an intense need to shit. The back door was locked, so I tried to run to the front, but couldn't make it. As I squatted in the bushes, my girlfriend came home unexpectedly. She screamed and called me a sick, disgusting freak. FML
Today, while my nephews got ready for school, my boyfriend walked into the bathroom to ask me if he could accompany us to the bus stop. Unfortunately, I couldn’t hold my diarrhea anymore. As he was asking, I began to loudly relieve myself. He looked at me in shock and just said, “Oh okay, I’ll fuck off now.” FML
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Top comments
MoonyIce 0
Claaaassic. That's too awesome. At least you were only 'about' to flirt with him and hadn't actually started in on it.
justdancebbyx3 7
You should have said to the guy "My love for you is like my mother's diarrhea. It can't be held in."
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Comments (68)
im_a_dinosaur 0
hahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha that is all i can say.
FerrariCake 2
You don't have to flirt with guys. If you want to have sex with a guy, just say "here's my number, I want to have sex with you. But I have to go now because my mother has diarrhea." If he wants to do you, he'll call and if he doesn't he won't. Simple. So YDI for thinking that "flirting" was something necessary.
Anteezy 7
haha so true, flirting is something guys have to do, not girls. If a guy wants to have sex with a girl she can be the biggest klutz in the world with a retarded family and the guy would still do her.
blastvortex 4
Were you able to snuff and ditch the joint in time?
psychoxxxinvader 3
Ugh... Why is it that girls always have to flirt with random guys? YDI.
CheeseHater 23
Hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! I bet ugly as a train too hahahaha!
CheeseHater 23
You're* ugly
blackandgold 0
Your mom is WAY more awesome than you.
hawiie4ever 0
And now everyone who reads this will know she has, well yeah
Sweets_wtc 0
aww this is cute lol
TheOneAndOnly85 0
I don't think your mom is awful, and unlike some I don't think you need to be counting down the days till you move out. Growing up all of our parents, aunts, uncles, and grandparents embarrassed us at some point!!! That doesn't mean they are the worst people in the world, or even bad in any since! I mean if your mom is beating you, or depriving you of basic necessities, then ya that is awful. But she really didn't do anything wrong here. She was sick, and was trying to hurry you so that she didn't have a huge mess to clean up. if the guy you were talking to is so immature that he now hates you because your mother has natural body function, he isn't worth your time!!! TRUST ME!!!! no matter how cute he is!