Today, I asked a very cute fireman for his number, "just in case I needed him to come to my rescue." He told me, "Yeah, sure!" and scribbled it down. After he walked away, I read his note, which read: "911". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I met a really cute guy at work. He asked for my number, and I wrote it down on a piece of paper. After looking at the paper, he crumpled it up, yelled "Do you think I'm stupid? I know the rejection hotline when I see it", and walked away. It was my real phone number. FML
Today, a cute guy came up to me and asked for my phone number. I was super excited and began to write it down when he said, "It doesn't have to be your real number, I'm not gonna call anyway." I still gave him my real number. FML
Today, while in class, a cute boy came up and asked me for my number. I giggled and wrote my phone number on a piece of paper and told him to call me sometime. He gave me a weird look and walked away. He was asking which number math problem I needed help with. FML
Today, while I was leaving a restaurant, the very handsome waiter, whom I had been trying to hit on all night, said to me, in front of everyone, "Why did you write your phone number on the table with hearts around it? You know I won't call you." FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. When it came time for us to leave, I saw him write something on the receipt for our waitress. I managed to get a quick look; it was his number. FML
Today, I spoke to my crush for the first time, and after a while he asked for my number. Ecstatic, I took the first piece of paper I saw out of my purse. I wrote it down and gave it to him, but he handed it back and said, "You might need this." It was an appointment card for my therapist. FML
Today, the really cute guy who asked for my number last night texted me. He wanted to know if he could get my friend's number, because he'd been too shy to ask her directly. FML
Today, my friend asked me if I flirted with any girls during our shift. I said, "No, not any I could think of." He then told me there was a note on my windshield that said, "Call me" with a phone number on it. After my shift, I went to my car excited and read the note. It was just a penis. FML
Today, I met a great guy at the bar, and we went back to my place. He left before I woke up, leaving a badly-scrawled note saying, "Gone to work, call me!" I couldn't make out the number. FML
Today, my life is so messed up that when I got pulled over, the officer asked about my life and not only did I not receive a ticket, he made me write down his personal number, patrol number and to call if I ever needed a favor or to talk, telling me that I had a friend in him. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
holynemesis1208 3
great sense of humor.
PureGold 0
HAHA...funny guy xP And #2, maybe he wasn't fighting a fire at the time haha...what's wrong with liking a fireman? A young, muscular guy who also happens to save lives...yeah, she MUST be desperate.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (97)
SkydiverGoose 0
I'm a firefighter, stuff like this happens all the time. I actually met my girlfriend when I was off duty and driving home and her car was t-boned and totaled right in front of me. She was fine, though, her car took all the damage. But one of my former Lieutenants was notorious for his womanizing. It was really kinda funny, he didn't even *try* to pick girls up, we'd be out picking up breakfast or something and the girls at the registers would write their numbers at the bottom of his receipts, and stuff like that.
radiowave 0
im sure him coming to rescue you really turned him on... /sarcasm men dont know what women want? i think thats more of a two way street than we like to admit.
Ever_fml 0
Probably a fireman that's married and has children. Give him props for not being a dick about it.
MukyDaCookie 0
That's like Lil Wayne's song Mrs. Officer "After we were done, I asked her "baby, wahts your number" She said 9-1-1"
SarcasticUnicorn 9
Lol, that's the first thing I thought of when I read it.
stkeepsitreal 0
its ur own fault for being ugly, **** ur life
arcturusvi 0
LIL WAYNE DID NOT INVENT THIS JOKE, IF IT IS. Jesus Christ you ******* twits. Maybe the OP is a floozy little *****, and the firefighter had no interest. Ways one could know he's a firefighter without him dressed in gear near a big ******* red truck.... Talking to a group of people about his job, a common social thing Stickers on his vehicle a shirt with his company/name tattoo with his company Are people really this unobservant with people and behavior?
TheUnnamedOne 0
lmao @ #18
redbluegreen 41
So that's NINE-ONE-ONE with two ones? You sure? Gah, I'll have to remember that.
crazymofooooo 0
Dipshit
martymcfly12 0
#36 needs to get hot to...