Today, I got called into the school by my daughter's teacher. Apparently my daughter informed her class that over the weekend she spent her time with her daddy watching porn stars while her mummy was at work. It took a long time to convince her they were actually watching a TV show called "Pawn Stars". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was playing a game with my family where we had to say the name of an actor/actress that started with a certain letter. When I said mine, my dad grounded me because he knew it was a pornstar. Now my mom is mad at my dad for watching porn too. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML
Today, I walked in on my daughter making out with a piece of paper with someone from the cast of IT taped to her pillow. FML
Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML
Today, I had to pick my daughter up from pre-school because she repeatedly hit another kid with a stick. Apparently, my parents have been letting her watch violent action movies again. FML
Today, as I was taking my three year-old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML
Today, I got a call from my child's preschool saying that "Mindy keeps saying she sits on her daddy's lap and plays with his peter." My daughter meant 'puter, as in computer. Now the school is worried my husband is a child molester. FML
Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML
Today, I was babysitting for my mom's coworkers two little boys. they went to bed around 9 and I was watching a movie on HBO. I fell asleep before the movie was over. I woke up to the parents walking into the house. I looked at the TV, and porn was on. FML
Today, I went to my phone company and had my text history pulled. Why? Because a few days ago, my four year-old daughter told me that, "Daddy has a wife and a girlfriend." Turns out she was right. FML
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Top comments
djm2010 8
The teacher sounds slow. She could have asked your daughter to elaborate and using context clues, she would figure out what your daughter actually watched. As cart that is is the person you have to trust to educate your child.
djm2010 8
No one said anything about doing that in front if the class. She could have pulled the child to the side and asked her to explain herself a little further. It would take half a second to figure out what she really meant.
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Comments (49)
mineller 24
Hahaha! When I moved to England, my host family and I talked about TV series we liked and one of the first things they said was "**** stars" and I was just sitting there, in the car, regretting ever even getting on the plane that morning. Until the father saw my face and spelled out the name of the show for me.
americanafrican 32
i had the same thing happen to me with a restaurant and a clothing store
worldclassrager 41
Check the point is there a show called **** stars? Come on
Lalala579121 28
Based on the FML the child didn't specify that it was a TV show.
Calingaladha 21
Oh yeah, that episode where Chumlee went wild.
koganti 18
pawn star : That's definitely a FML, but let me call my buddy who's an expert in FML'S so I can see what I'm dealing with.
DaDezza244 31
Well pawn and **** sounds awfully similar, but still that's awkward. Never heard of the show pawn star though
HeartYou101 31
It's a British TV show about antiques, finding out how much they're worth and selling them.It's quite good, as far as antique shows go...I watched an episode where a woman sold the most ugliest necklace I ever seen, for £18,500!!
laden_swallow09 35
You sure you're not thinking about Antiques Roadshow?
ChibiChibi_fml 28
No they mean what they say. It's a spin off of the American show Pawn Stars. In the UK it follows what's going on at Regal Pawn Shop. In America it follows the goings on at the Gold & Silver Pawn Shop. It is less about antiques specifically and more just about appraising the value of things and deciding whether people are asking a good price for things, if it would sell in the Pawn Shop itself, and the Pawn Shops ultimate decision whether to buy the object or not. A few of the items are Antiques but many of them are just interesting or expensive by their own nature such as when they buy the occasional Jet Ski or Off Road Vehicle.
Lalala579121 28
You're not missing anything. As far as modern reality TV shows go it's at least better than the crap they show on MTV, but it's still boring.
riddhi 16
I too came to know that such a show exists after reading the fml
To_Die_For 7
I was once in a situation where my mother found my friends receipt laying around after he was staying with us, after some ******** room mates stole his things for drug money. The Receipt was Saying what looked like "Happy hookers" I thought "Okay faded receipt and it be best to ask him myself" Cause my mum was freaking out, And to keep the peace... And he corrected me on the name saying it was "Happy hockers" As he calmly said "Yeah it was a **** shop" As in Pawn... Not ****. He was getting his stolen stuff back. Man did my mum laugh when I explained. xD
BlueXephos 10
"Let me call in an expert on children's pronunciation"
1DisGR8 32
I'll be honest, when History was advertising Pawn Stars UK, I thought they were saying **** Stars too.
Vlen_fml 20
that's because European accents don't enunciate their R's nearly as much as the western half of the U.S. where almost everyone who's lived in the area has no distinguishable accent unless they came from somewhere else.
SookyLala 13
haah! i knew that shows name would be good for a laugh somewhere. good show.