Today, my wife gave me my Christmas gift, a novelty kitchen sponge, then suggested I try it out on the sink full of dishes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was washing dishes after eating Christmas leftovers. I pulled a knife out of the drying rack and put it away to avoid cutting myself on it, yet I still managed to scrape my thumb on an errant fork in the sink. FML
Today, my mother gave me an early Christmas present; a Bissell mop so I can "do a better job" when I "clean her floors". FML
Today, my wife bitched at me for not washing my hands before handling the dishes. The dirty dishes. That were sitting in a sink of hot soapy water. According to her, the dirt from my hands was gonna make the dirty dishes even dirtier. Huh? FML
Today, my wife is giving me the silent treatment and has locked herself in the bedroom, all because I politely asked her to put the dishcloth away when she was done with it. FML
Today, our dishwasher broke. It's my husband's chore to do the dishes, but he refused to hand-wash them, and instead suggested we take them all up to his mother's for her to put in her dishwasher. FML
Today, I gave my wife a $900 necklace as a special Christmas gift. She gave me a set of Star Wars pajamas. As it turns out, I was more excited to wear my gift than she was to wear hers. FML
Today, I gave my 8-month-old a bath in the kitchen sink after dinner, like I always do. Today, she decided to poop in it. FML
Today, I was preparing dinner for my in-laws for the first time. Nervous, I accidentally spilled the pasta into the sink. With nothing else to prepare, I quickly scooped it all back out. No-one would have been any the wiser, if the kitchen sponge hadn't shown up in the middle of the meal. FML
Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML
Today, my mum called and told me she had bought me a new, white dish washer for my apartment because it doesn't have one. I was SO excited and told her I'd pay her back as soon as I could. I only had to pay her $1.25. She bought me a sponge. FML
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Top comments
Brightside86 31
Dude get a dishwasher they are amazing. Even the portable ones you just plug in and cost about $300 are an absolute no brainer.
HOT_THOT 8
YDI help your wife with the household chores you shitty husband
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Comments (5)
HOT_THOT 8
YDI help your wife with the household chores you shitty husband
CakeEater 15
I'm sure everyone will assume you never do dishes, because people like to jump to conclusions. If you don't, YDI, if you do and you just got a shitty gift, then I suggest giving her a vacuum or something as ridiculous for her next gift 🤣
JackWood 21
That's a novel way to get you to help with the dishes. Is it your first time? Is that the only gift you got?
Brightside86 31
Dude get a dishwasher they are amazing. Even the portable ones you just plug in and cost about $300 are an absolute no brainer.
RichardPencil 32
Is it possible that she earns more than you do? If so, the gift is a statement that you're sponging off of her. You'd better get those dishes nice and clean, mooch.