Today, I was preparing dinner for my in-laws for the first time. Nervous, I accidentally spilled the pasta into the sink. With nothing else to prepare, I quickly scooped it all back out. No-one would have been any the wiser, if the kitchen sponge hadn't shown up in the middle of the meal. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to my fiancé's house to have dinner with his family for the first time. Trying to be polite at the end of the meal I went to take the plates in to the kitchen. I overestimated how heavy the half-finished soup pot was, and threw soup all over myself and future mother-in-law. FML
Today, I made dinner for myself after a long day full of annoying family drama. I had the pan sizzling away when I went to grab some herbs from the fridge. As I turned around, I tripped on the rug, sending the entire frying pan of food flying into the air. It landed directly in front of my never-endingly hungry dogs, so I watched as my ruined dinner disappeared. FML
Today, I was quietly admiring my boyfriend from outside the kitchen as he made us dinner, only to witness him drop a load of spaghetti on the floor, swear, then scoop it all up and place it back on the plate. FML
Today, after telling my best friend an idiot could make Kraft Dinner, I spilled boiling water all over my hands and forearms while attempting to strain the noodles. FML
Today, I reheated leftover pasta at work. I forgot to crack a vent on the container and it exploded in the microwave. Sauce coated the inside, so I spent my lunch break scrubbing while coworkers waited awkwardly to heat their food. The smell is still hanging in the office air. FML
Today, to treat the family, I cooked something nice in appreciation for sticking it out over the past few tough months. Unfortunately, I chose this one day to not wear my oven mitts when carrying the food to the table, spilling the food all over the carpeted floor. FML
Today, after I finished dinner, I was getting ready to wash the dishes, but first I needed to take my vitamins. I accidentally gagged myself and puked in the kitchen sink of dirty dishes. I had to clean vomit and the dishes. I vomited my entire dinner. FML
Today, I made a delicious casserole for dinner. Just as I was about to serve it, a bowl fell from the cupboard above, exploded on the counter and made it rain tiny, sharp glass shards on my food. I can't pick them all out. FML
Today, for the very first time, I invited my girlfriend's parents for dinner. I bought a pre-made oven dish, just to be sure nothing could go wrong. Once at the table, her mother asked pointedly who forgot to remove the plastic foil before putting it in the oven. FML
Today, I tried to be helpful at a family dinner and offered to carve the roast. The knife slipped, the serving tray tipped. My uncle caught it with his bare hand like a movie hero. Everyone praised him for dinner-saving reflexes while I quietly sat down. FML
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Top comments
bella_coza 0
Can I just say how unsanitary that really is? Ew.
kelissa_fml 16
Dip it in sauce and call it a meatball?
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Comments (112)
kelissa_fml 16
Dip it in sauce and call it a meatball?
102Percent 5
How do you not notice that you put a sponge im there?
diceplaya 12
Hmm, cooking for the in-laws and the pasta "accidently" slipped. Not suspicious at all.
taco_bender 12
Cant wait to see what op post next time. Accidently put rat poison in the turkey stuffing
urdirtyolduncle 15
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Who lives in a pasta under the house? Spongebob Sqaurepants!!!
shanemaximo 7
Well it was either find the sponge or everyone wondering how they all got sick with the same horrible illnesses and parasites.
gojira666 7
Elaine Benis would have appreciated it!
Moneylover103 1
41 that was really funny good one
GovernorGeneral 8
45- i believe Spongebob Squarepants lives in a pinapple under the sea....
RrLSf19 0
Wow OP, your life should be a sitcom
StoryOfTheYear 15
Aw shit homies, the sponge is here to collect his dues, take cover! It looks like he brought half of the French mafia with him this time! And the meal was just getting good. :(
tellithowitis 13
90- I believe Spongebob lives
tellithowitis 13
In a *pineapple under the sea... ^_^
mauguster 15
Anyone notice none of these comments above have anything to do with the post they're replying to? No? Just me then..
nightowl713 25
O this has nothing to do with anything on this post but, how does the moderation process work, yes to send through and no to keep it from posting, or yes to keep it from posting and no to let it through?
GovernorGeneral 8
I apologize 120 that was a typo. Thank you for correcting me.
illabye 0
OP theres something called Carry Out
bella_coza 0
Can I just say how unsanitary that really is? Ew.
Llamacod 11
Yes, tell us how unsanitary it is.
crazychick1269 7
Sponges are used to clean things therefor the pasta is now clean
urdirtyolduncle 15
^I like this guy's logic. From now on, I'll be adding sponge as my extra ingredient to clean my food.
Nikkisha16 0
I'd like his comment too, if it was actually factual and not just a joke. xD
ClassyCommando 13
So you don't like jokes, 81, just facts? I bet you're the life of the party.
vturbz91 0
Who put that in there?
sweettpie129 11
That's also why spongebob is always clean...
Jakesterk96 8
Seems legit.
Icejza_DaChilla 7
Nice bangs btw #2! Rawr
alvarny 17
She should have just admitted to her mistake instead of putting everybody's lives in danger.
malfoyfreak 3
Yum.....but that is sorta your fault..sorry op, but you should have checked whether anything came with it
IAdminIFlow 0
yeah, but hey looks like sponge cake isnt the only spongy food anymore ;)
wilsontws 18
Well OP, did you... Come "clean" about it in the end?
xcarxcrashx 9
Or at least rinse it! Then you would've seen the sponge! Ick!!
GenaALazer 22
ydi
Justin23L 2
There's a button for that.
Redneck_Mouse 1
^ haha win
Llamacod 11
There is a button for stupidity?
cosmosis 12
No. There is no button for stupidity. Sadly there doesnt appear to be a cure for stupidity. Its a rapid spreading disease!
sammyscrazza 6
What does ydi mean
goodfella925 0
"You. Deserve. It "
DrDilllonReese 12
56- you mean rapidly.
Justforlolz 14
Yodeling dirty immigrants
IAdminIFlow 0
grammar nazi get a life correcting people on grammar that other people still understand isnt funny. it proves that you have a 1 inch dick.
Internut 6
94 - Yoda's Disney Island
Crlnprz 11
hahaha ... "what is this?..." "oh its a uh.. piece of uh..uh..."
AnagenisisZagus 13
Get back to us when you find out what it is.
KeyboardWarrior 10
"It's a rare species of vegetable! It's really healthy for you! Oh yeah mom, it's supposed to have that spongy texture. That means it's working! Go on, have another piece!"
Redneck_Mouse 1
At least you get the flavoring of everything you have cleaned with that sponge...
Mama_Umbridge 8
Nothing like grimy grease to impress the in-laws
wolfshadow 4
I often spit in my sink when I have no other choice. I'm sure that would be delicious :)
akg98 13
*Gasp!* STARKID FAN!!!!
AJRand 14
That's one way to cleanse your innards.
Pelreskovich 11
Smooth.. How did you not notice an entire sponge!?
Elizabeth198 1
Maybe it was a really small one.....? :)
MwahFMLS 6
Or a lot of pasta and the sponge was buried in there?
GovernorGeneral 8
Its all a part of her evil genius plan to take down the reign of the in-laws.
nofearjenshere 12
10- Every time you comment, I stare at your picture trying to figure out how you made that face. Haha.
iloveqts 8
You are a beautiful man! Sorry for the weirdness, just had to share my thoughts :)
downtime 13
111, He contracted his facial muscles, and rotated his head slightly. For more answers to complex questions like this, you should consult with anyone over the age of 10.
Awsumuzzie 12
Wait just one darn second! When I compliment, my comments some how disappear.... I'm starting to wonder if it's just me.... and if it is, I'm not surprised.
Pelreskovich 11
I noticed that too.. I went to reply and was like.. Whaaa.. Huh?? For some reason everyone seems to comment on my face in a negative light. This weekend I'm changing my picture to my ass, thoughts?
Pelreskovich 11
Comments keep disappearing! OH THE HUMANITY!
Jakesterk96 8
Yea, because a sponge will do just that.
spacetravel 1
Why couldn't you just tell them what happened and apologized then ordered take out? That's just nasty.
Moneylover103 1
I was thinkin the same thing
notsorandomguy 18
It MUST be a new type of pasta!!! Look, it's yellow and it was in the middle of it all, and it grows softer when soaked in water. Don't worry about it, it's probably a new type of marketing technique.
crstl 4
Keep your day job, unless you're a salesman.