Today, while spring cleaning, my cat came into the kitchen with a live mouse in her mouth. She looked me dead in the eyes and dropped the mouse, which then ran into my bedroom. It's been 4 hours and I still can't find it. Where's the cat? Chilling like nothing happened. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I awoke at two in the morning to my cat putting his most recent kill on my chest. When I jumped up screaming, the dead mouse went flying and now my husband and I can't find it. Better yet, now both my husband and my cat are giving me the silent treatment. FML
Today, my cat attempted to make up for my insomnia with a dead mouse. I have no idea where he got it. FML
Today, my cat came through my window, holding a dead rat in her mouth and dropped it in my pile of clothes. I then asked my dad if he could get the dead rat out of my room. After looking for an hour, he couldn't find it. Guess the rat wasn't dead after all. FML
Today, I was cleaning my room when I found a nice surprise from my cat. While I was on vacation, she killed a mouse. By the time I found it, there were maggots crawling in my carpet. FML
Today, my cat brought home a bloody, barely-living mouse. The thing managed to escape and dragged itself into a crack in the wall, where it must have died. The only way to get it out before it starts to stink up the place is by demolishing the wall. FML
Today, my cat let a mouse sit on his paws for several minutes, then just sat and watched as it scurried into a crack in the drywall. My cat is only 4. FML
Today, my 2-year-old cat finally decided to start catching mice. Like any other cat would, she left it for me to find. I found it in the middle of the night, as my bare foot rolled its guts out of its ass. FML
Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML
Today, my cat started screaming nonstop outside my bedroom. She's never done this since she was last in heat (she's 7 1/2 years old), so I was worried. I opened the door to find that she had "killed' a mouse (a fake one, formerly attached to her cat tree) and was very proud of herself. That's cute, but… really? FML
Today, I was taking some clean bedsheets down from the top of the wardrobe. As I pulled the top sheet down, a cat jumped onto my face, claws and all, before falling to the floor and running away. Thing is, I don't own a cat and I have no idea where in the house it has hidden now. FML
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Top comments
Markovski 18
Typical cat.
quickit 24
Your cat sounds like ruthless.
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Comments (98)
amileah13 26
Well you can tell who will not be sleeping tonight.
kavyashahs 16
Is your cat getting mood swings?
hoosiergirl94 31
It's like they know
Exaspera 55
It was a Present!
Gromann 9
Cat think's you're retarded (you can't hunt) and is trying to feed you.
jmigs17 19
"Look mom, I caught it with no hands!" Crap, I forgot I need my mouth to hold it. Ah well.
Vestin 18
"Today, I brought my human a mouse to play with. I dropped it down and watched how she would react. It's been 4 hours now and she can't even find it, let alone catch it. I'll probably spend the rest of my life with this moron. FML"
SpookyLady 4
your cat is sabotaging you
SyLord 13
You know, your cat was just bringing you a gift to show how much it loves you. Mine does this all the time, but luckaly he kills most of them he catches. If not, the dogs will. Its funny watching them fight over their new chew toy!
luststarrr 22
Wrong. As in OP's case, your cat thinks you're a shit hunter & need to learn to catch things like kittens do - by practicing on prey that has been captured by their mother, then released close by to hunt & eat. Your lack of success despite his constant lessons & your carelessness in letting the dogs catch your prey probably leave your cat wondering why he bothers, & not too impressed by the dogs for interrupting your lessons too. Also, when describing your cat or dog killing the prey animal, the obvious glee you demonstrate with regard to the violence involved is concerning, to say the least. May I recommend consulting a psychiatrist? Or at least trying to become less of a sadistic prick.
grumblebum 16
My cat did the same thing for her kittens, to teach them to hunt. Obviously your cat wants you to learn too.