Today, I woke up with a scream of pain to find the reason I've had so many realistic dreams lately: my boyfriend has been messing with me in my sleep because he thinks my reactions are funny. For instance, when he pinched me today, I experienced a very realistic wasp sting in my dream. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up suddenly with giant bugs biting my legs. I screamed, ripped the blanket off the bed and bolted to the bathroom to recover. Turns out it was all a dream, and the person who needed to recover most was my shell-shocked boyfriend who had been sleeping soundly beside me. Sorry, babe. FML
Today, it was my first time sleeping at my boyfriend’s house. I happened to have an incredibly realistic nightmare in which I woke up to thousands of centipedes crawling all over my body. My boyfriend got to watch me scream and slap myself repeatedly. FML
Today, I woke up with a headache. My girlfriend said it might be from the night before, explaining she punched me while I was sleeping because I was snoring in her ear, and she dreamed a bee was attacking her. I'm not sure if I'm more concerned that she punched me, or that it didn't wake me. FML
Today, my boyfriend had a bad dream that a horse was biting his fingers off. He punched the horse in the neck, and in real life punched me in the spine. Twice. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were asleep. Evidently, he was dreaming about being a UFC fighter, because, out of no where, he grabs the back of my head and punches me in the nose. I haven't been able to breathe right out of my nose all day. FML
Today, I was awoken to a punch in the face. My boyfriend said I was giggling in my sleep and he thought I was possessed. FML
Today, there was a wasp tangled in my bed sheets. I found this out when I rolled over it in my sleep, and it stung me on the lower back. FML
Today, I had a dream that my ex-boyfriend had become a vicious serial killer and was hunting me down because I broke up with him. I don't know what scares me more: the way he hunted me in my sleep, or the fact that it wouldn't surprise me if it actually happened. FML
Today, I dreamt my fiancé was rolling frozen potatoes onto my bed to wake me up. In reality I woke up screaming to intense cramps in my legs which almost reduced me to tears. I could barely walk for two hours. FML
Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML
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Top comments
TwoBytesCarley 27
Seriously, wtf is wrong with some people?
Annette Oinenen 3
EX BF Child! This should read EX!
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Comments (7)
TwoBytesCarley 27
Seriously, wtf is wrong with some people?
Annette Oinenen 3
EX BF Child! This should read EX!
kfchicken 31
...damn people out here ending relationships over harmless pranks that could be sorted out with a conversation
TheGoldDunsparce 4
Her bf sounds demented and probably belongs in a straitjacket...
DonULFonso 22
A glass of luke warm water and the hand of your sleeping boyfriend later, dump this bed wetter ;) ...
diraven 15
Punch him in the balls while he's sleeping. He'll probably think that's hilarious
Wisernow 10
Geez, he sounds cruel. Get out.
Rae_943893842 6
a**hole