Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went clothes shopping. I took my little daughter into the dressing room while I tried some clothes on. She somehow managed to open the door while I was changing. A lady outside then bitched me out for "exposing" myself to her kids. FML
Today, I was in a department store with my three year old daughter to buy some new jeans. I took her into the dressing room with me and as I began to take off my pants she yells, "Mommy, you can't go peepee in here!!" I am no longer welcome in that particular store. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML
Today, we went out to dinner to a family restaurant, and I was wearing a skirt since it's so warm out. My 4 year old scooted under the table to sit next to his brother. When he popped up on the other side, he exclaimed, "Mommy! You forgot to put on your underwears!" People were staring. FML
Today, my toddler started chirping, "Mommy’s on the toilet!" while I was in a public restroom at our local mall. She also knocked on the stall door to make sure everyone was made aware of our exact location. FML
Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
Today, my mom and I went to the mall to look for some boxer briefs. While looking, I saw two girls I knew from school, so I went over to say hello. At least, that was my plan, but my mom screamed, "Look! These have dinosaurs on them!" They left the store giggling. FML
Today, I, a forty year-old man, went to the store with my teenage daughter and infant son. I got some very dirty looks. FML
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Top comments
1dvs_bstd 41
Your kid is diabolically hardcore.
GrinchFu1 27
This is why I love little kids. They truly live in their own tiny little worlds... ******* adorable. You're a star, mom!
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Comments (77)
alisha0215 12
i swear people on fml have no sense of humor. all these comments should not be downvoted. she is 4 and it's funny and makes a funny story for the future to tell to the grandkids.
FalloutScrolls 25
Is there a badge for giving a certain number of thumbs down? If so, some people may be working hard for it! We should respect their dedication to the grind....*rolls eyes*
sosogross 16
lol
thatsme293 28
Were you in the woman's department at least?
catanita 18
This is a funny story to tell when she will grow up. I hope you did not scold her. I am amazed every time when a parent tell a funny story about their child and i think about how in the world that child thought at such a thing. They have amazing minds.
iwadasn 33
Why wouldn't she scold her? As funny as it might have been to other people, the kid needs to know that that's not something she should do again.
worldclassrager 41
At least you weren't trying on bikini's...
GeorgiaBea 28
That's amazing!!!! Sometimes kids just do random stuff.
SquirrellyGirl 20
That's kinda cute, but pretty embarrassing for you. Kids do the craziest, funniest things. Maybe next time you should have taken her inside the dressing room with you
BuckNekkid 22
I'm sorry for you but that just some funny stuff, shoulda been a video for TV woulda won the big prize
NostalgiaFreak9 43
She just said goodbye to her childhood.
inolongercare 19
Not gonna lie- that is super funny