Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went clothes shopping. I took my little daughter into the dressing room while I tried some clothes on. She somehow managed to open the door while I was changing. A lady outside then bitched me out for "exposing" myself to her kids. FML
Today, I was in a department store with my three year old daughter to buy some new jeans. I took her into the dressing room with me and as I began to take off my pants she yells, "Mommy, you can't go peepee in here!!" I am no longer welcome in that particular store. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML
Today, we went out to dinner to a family restaurant, and I was wearing a skirt since it's so warm out. My 4 year old scooted under the table to sit next to his brother. When he popped up on the other side, he exclaimed, "Mommy! You forgot to put on your underwears!" People were staring. FML
Today, my toddler started chirping, "Mommy’s on the toilet!" while I was in a public restroom at our local mall. She also knocked on the stall door to make sure everyone was made aware of our exact location. FML
Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
Today, my mom and I went to the mall to look for some boxer briefs. While looking, I saw two girls I knew from school, so I went over to say hello. At least, that was my plan, but my mom screamed, "Look! These have dinosaurs on them!" They left the store giggling. FML
Today, I, a forty year-old man, went to the store with my teenage daughter and infant son. I got some very dirty looks. FML
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Top comments
1dvs_bstd 41
Your kid is diabolically hardcore.
GrinchFu1 27
This is why I love little kids. They truly live in their own tiny little worlds... ******* adorable. You're a star, mom!
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Comments (77)
1animalallover 16
Yall better start clapping real soon
SeragHeiba 11
That is quite adorable, but unfortunate. Adorable. But unfortunate.
lulinator 40
Is there an echo...?
chaseafterwind82 29
That is actually really clever and hilarious :-)
GrinchFu1 27
This is why I love little kids. They truly live in their own tiny little worlds... ******* adorable. You're a star, mom!
goofballjones 6
So does Gary Busey, but I don't know if I'd call that cute
GrinchFu1 27
No... But it's ****** funny as hell. And maybe a little terrifying. But mostly funny.
tormcn 26
... but did you preform?
Myo_fml 20
Why are almost all of the comments thumbed down? O.o
1dvs_bstd 41
Because fml is an oasis of unforgiveness. If people don't get you, your sense of humor, your reference, or shit like that, you're getting down... downvoted.
Lalala579121 28
That and people probably downvote everything for the luls.
TheLostCauseFML 40
Because some people are ridiculous and rude and do it for the kicks.. It's the same reason so many FML's are denied. People are just Down voting for the hell of it because they have nothing better to do.. and they have a bit of a "God" complex, using their powers to commit evil villainy...
chosha_fml 27
Don't ever teach her how to turn on a webcam.
vikky538 29
Your daughter is too much into reality shows
alisha0215 12
haha kids do the darndest things!!? ...but definitley teach her not to do that lol
_awwhellnaw_ 45
I'm sorry to hear that, OP. I hope there weren't too many people around.