Today, I took my new girlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffee when my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of my girlfriend's nose. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, while waiting for my boyfriend to get out of the shower, I chatted with his grandma. As soon as we hear him exit the restroom, she smirks at me and lets a huge, smelly fart out. She blamed it on me. My boyfriend believed her. FML
Today, I turned around after loading the washing machine to discover my husband's 89-year-old grandmother dropping her pants. She looked at me and said, "I hope you don't mind but when you got to go, you got to go." She then sat down on the toilet and let out a loud, long fart. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce her to my parents. As we arrived, my grandpa was leaving the bathroom. He looked over at my girlfriend with a worried expression and said, "Never take a shit in this place. Feels like I wiped my arsehole with sandpaper." FML
Today, I went out to a restaurant with a girl I have been dating. The only conversation was about how proud she was of her fart during work earlier, and how she managed to clear out a section of the office. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner. Things went great, until my grandma arrived. She thought it would be okay to continue our friendly prank war by congratulating me on my "wife's" pregnancy. My girlfriend actually believed it, and now thinks she's the "other woman". FML
Today, my girlfriend managed to trap a fart in her nightgown and carry it all the way from the bathroom, into our bedroom, and finally into our bed. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML
Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend of six months over to meet my family. When my grandpa saw her, he said, "What a waste of good breeding stock." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
lishajoy777 14
Your Grandma is AWESOME!
zombieslayer83 19
Did pay the gas bill though!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (172)
Catkam623 27
Smartest grandma ever
BlueFlatts 20
I wish I'd have known farting made me smarter.
iSpasticFantasti 14
Mmm then you'd be a smartass. :D
Zebediabolical 45
I wish my gramma was this awesome!
xs4u 13
Lllllove ur grandma!
notjanedoe 27
Lucky you, your girlfriend gets your family's humor.
Sammitheshit 10
Haha why are you saying; "FML" ?! I would of laughed ass off!
The_Thinker 18
How awfully inconsiderate she is. We all know it's only common courtesy to give notice prior to eviction. Tut tut.
Dcm210 19
Never heard of a comment like that after a fart.
mrperspire 4
Sounds like your GF had a good time.
TheWorldGreatest 8
You have to omit that granny's are awesome
irateyou 9
admit* Grannies*
Eluveitie 9
R.I.P. English.
Catkam623 27
I've suddenly realized its f his girlfriends life. Having hot coffee come out your nose isn't fun.