Today, it was my birthday. My parents came into my room at 12:01 to surprise me. Do you know what fifteen year-olds do at midnight? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it's my 16th birthday. My parents forgot about it, and planned a weekend out of town. I was alone on my birthday. FML
Today, my dad's girlfriend threw me a birthday party and all the gifts, decorations, and the cake were according to my age, which they thought was 12. I turned 13 today. FML
Today, I went to a surprise birthday party for a friend. Everyone was hiding and waiting to yell "Surprise!" when I got a call from my mom. I was loudly discussing family gossip and trying to get my mom to hang up when the door opened. Everyone yelled "Surprise!" and then turned to stare at me. FML
Today, I walked into a restaurant with my parents to celebrate my Mom's birthday. They immediately got a kid's menu and crayons out for me. I'm 15. FML
Today, it's my mom's birthday. I woke up at midnight to be the first to tell her happy birthday. When I awoke in the morning, I decided to bake her a cake. Little did I know my whole family was going out to lunch to celebrate. I wasn't invited. FML
Today, my parents yelled at me for coming home at 1am this morning from a friend's birthday party. I'm 30 years old. FML
Today, I threw myself a surprise party. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My parents wished me a happy one via text message. We live in the same house. FML
Today, it's my 15th birthday. My dad stumbled into my bedroom at six in the morning, completely drunk, and slurred the "Happy Birthday" song. Then he told me to go fuck myself, and said that he wished I was never born. Me too, dad. Me too. FML
Today, I turned 17. My parents completely forgot it was my birthday, and when I reminded them, my dad thought it was my 18th. He was ecstatic and mentioned that I can "finally get the hell out." FML
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Top comments
aznboytellem 0
WERE U PLAYIN POKEMANZ?
tyhillman 0
Ha at least it was dark, either way sucks for you
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Comments (453)
DerangedFox 0
This sucks because you're starting your birthday off by wanking it. Get a girlfriend, you poor thing, you.
Subjectzero 0
wow. you Jack off at midnight? do it before you fall asleep. like right before.
ming88 0
surprise!! and happy birthday!
LynchyBabes 0
Could have been worst, you could have squirted your baby gravy over them and killed them, like off American Pie: The Naked Mile. Gets me every time that does...
beeship321 5
That's why you wait till 1 DAR
gorbagil 0
No...
The_Cait 0
They do, now!
zackman13 0
dude get a girlfriend! guys only jack-off because they are too gay, lonely or unable to score!
The_Cait 0
Says the obese, single, lonely, homosexual yet homophobic loser who is probably stroking it to this very fml and using his own tears as lubricant...
star_ver 0
You win the whole comment board. :D Too funny.
z712 0
The 13 in your name has rendered your comment null and void. 181 wins.
mlipro 0
or stressed.
LinsKitty 0
181 wins indeed. i hear applause. XD
LoveItOrLeaveIt 0
well be thankfull it was only ************, cause if you were doin the girl next door it could have ended a lot worse
wyld3fyr3 3
it coult have ended a lot better... for him
one2three 0
lol@27