Today, it was my birthday. My parents came into my room at 12:01 to surprise me. Do you know what fifteen year-olds do at midnight? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it's my 16th birthday. My parents forgot about it, and planned a weekend out of town. I was alone on my birthday. FML
Today, my dad's girlfriend threw me a birthday party and all the gifts, decorations, and the cake were according to my age, which they thought was 12. I turned 13 today. FML
Today, I went to a surprise birthday party for a friend. Everyone was hiding and waiting to yell "Surprise!" when I got a call from my mom. I was loudly discussing family gossip and trying to get my mom to hang up when the door opened. Everyone yelled "Surprise!" and then turned to stare at me. FML
Today, I walked into a restaurant with my parents to celebrate my Mom's birthday. They immediately got a kid's menu and crayons out for me. I'm 15. FML
Today, it's my mom's birthday. I woke up at midnight to be the first to tell her happy birthday. When I awoke in the morning, I decided to bake her a cake. Little did I know my whole family was going out to lunch to celebrate. I wasn't invited. FML
Today, my parents yelled at me for coming home at 1am this morning from a friend's birthday party. I'm 30 years old. FML
Today, I threw myself a surprise party. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My parents wished me a happy one via text message. We live in the same house. FML
Today, it's my 15th birthday. My dad stumbled into my bedroom at six in the morning, completely drunk, and slurred the "Happy Birthday" song. Then he told me to go fuck myself, and said that he wished I was never born. Me too, dad. Me too. FML
Today, I turned 17. My parents completely forgot it was my birthday, and when I reminded them, my dad thought it was my 18th. He was ecstatic and mentioned that I can "finally get the hell out." FML
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Top comments
aznboytellem 0
WERE U PLAYIN POKEMANZ?
tyhillman 0
Ha at least it was dark, either way sucks for you
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Comments (453)
CearaChaotic 0
sex?i dunno...
lamo_kidd 0
That's a great way to celebrate your birthday. lol
skiBOAT 0
Did you finish?
davidomke 0
now, you and 3 friends need to have a contest to see who can go the longest without....
yougottabkidding 0
ahaha oh what a great episode that was....
bloodfalcon22 0
alright Jerry, I'm out...
wArPeD_fml 0
wats that from?
Apathy 0
28 ftw.
blueworld_fml 0
Make sure to have at least one girl...that's guaranteed money (remember the episode where Elaine and George both couldn't get laid and she went crazy)
gnbfd 0
Seinfeld
that_guy321 2
haha. we did that on my team once. no on lasted more than three days. By the way, happy birthday, OP
Fuzzybunny111993 0
are you master of your domain? im queen of the castle!
TurdMonkey 0
Ha i love how only the guys know what OP is talking about.. except for maybe one or two kiddies whose balls havent dropped yet to clarify: He was making curdled yogurt come out of his beef bat.
DncrHap 9
Oh, jeez. Never heard it referred to as "curdled yogurt". Gag.
alrightythen45 0
dude your in new york theres prositutes all over the place...... hint hint
Meg_Me456 0
not only guys knew...I am a girl, a very sheltered girl at that and I knew!
TotallyHyped01 0
tycrystar: You really think 12 year olds don't know what the f in fmylife stands for? You kind of say it when you read the site, you'd have to be pretty stupid not to know what it means, even if you are 12, and if you didn't know, most 12 year olds say f*ck most of the time, I should know, im 12 and so are all my friends. (I on the other hand, say feck :D) Oh, and I'm a girl, I knew what this meant, sex ed in year 6, and way disgusting boys in year 7 :L Oh, and sounds way embarrassing, I feel sorry for you.
letitbe56 0
Honey, 15-year-old girls do the exact same thing. Not knowing what this FML is about has more to do with lack of mental acuity than with gender.
its_jaspertasic 0
Lmao. That was epic.
CyberPunkTink 0
I know what he's talking about, and I'm a chick. I can't say this hasnt happened to me before, different circumstances tho.XD
phaddy 0
Wat were they doin??
genghistron 0
its a bit obvious, he was clearly skullfucking.
DncrHap 9
xDD
ipoopinmypants 0
YES!!!
franceypants 0
really cute name..... /:
rxxk 0
On my fifteenth birthday, we were playing video games or were perhaps playing truth or dare at midnight. What the **** were you doing?
DearestPluto 0
hooking up with his dear friend J-I-L-L!
jonnymohio 2
Humping the pillow?
AAAAHHHH12 2
FTW.
acd23 0
I hate FMLs with questions with them. They confuse people, for one thing, by expecting everyone to know the answer. And it's really just easier to say what you want to say without making people guess.
0neiric 0
While sometimes they're unclear, this one is very obvious. Not to mention that about 10 ppl have said t in the comments